Charisma is what turns heads when someone enters the room. But what makes some people the glowing centre of attention, while others are overlooked? What gives people that certain something? Is charisma a secret power that some people are born with but can be learnt, is it an inherent psychic talent, or is there more to it?
Charisma surrounds certain people like an aura that makes them attractive and desirable. It is the thing that draws us to another person, but what is it exactly? Charisma can be defined as the positive vibes a person gives off — in other words, they radiate or glow. It’s an inner quality a person possesses that is presented on the outside — like a personal magnetism which works as the bridge between the inner self and the outer appearance of a person.
Penelope Cruz, the Spanish actress, is a good example of someone with charisma. Whether she is playing a young pregnant nun in Almodovar’s All About My Mother, a crazy ex-wife in Vicky, Cristina Barcelona, or a dangerous seducing pirate in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, you come out of the cinema thinking: what an amazing woman, what charisma! Researchers have found out that in our perception of a person, charisma is more important than their appearance. A person’s charm has more impact on first impressions than a person’s ‘alleged’ external flaws, such as an ample figure or a large nose. People who have charisma are:
Charisma however is more than learned gestures, facial expressions, a pleasant voice or nice clothes. People with charisma appear naturally confident, convincing, charming and respectful. They know who they are because inside they have reached a balance — a personal harmony is like an inner light that beams outwards.
Good news — we can all learn how to be charismatic and to improve on it. It’s enough just becoming more aware of ourselves and others — aware or our own aura and the aura of other people.
Read the following tips and learn how to:
1. Be aware of your strengths
Are you too critical of yourself and tend to hide your light under a bushel? You probably think about dangers and risks that you wish to avoid instead of the goals you hope to achieve. Ask yourself this question, “What do I have that others don’t have?” The answers are your trump cards. Everyone has some hidden treasure within them — we just have to hoist them out and display them! Every time you notice that you’re thinking negative thoughts, form a positive sentence in your mind such as, “I am strong and competent”, or “I am a good listener and I ask interesting questions”.
2. Live in the here and now
Don’t dwell on the past and how you could have done things differently: it’s a waste of time and the past is the past. Do you often feel uncertain about the future? People with charisma or a radiating aura live in the present day. Try to find small things each day that make you happy, such as a friendly smile, a pleasant comment or a spontaneous call to a friend. When you wake up each day, look forward to all the things you could experience in the coming day! A friendly chat with a clairvoyant can brighten your mood and help you feel more positive about life.
3. Pay attention to your body language
Stand tall, don’t slouch your shoulders. Look people directly in the eyes when you talk to them, but you can allow your gaze to wander occasionally too. Make the effort to look friendly and smile at people when you’re talking to them. If you present yourself as self-assured with confident body language, this will transfer to your mind and give you a definite mood booster. Try it now!
4. Be enthusiastic
Think about the things and people you like. Tell other people about them and your eyes will light up, your voice and gestures become lively and energetic. Only when you inspire yourself, can you inspire others!
5. Develop your own identity
Stop doing what the majority do and be your own person. Diana Vreeland, the legendary editor of fashion magazine Harpers Bazaar said, “Style means to find yourself”, so find out what really suits you. If you just go along with the flow the things that make you interesting will be hidden. If you accept who you are, others will discover the interesting parts of you.
Be interested in others
1. Comparing yourself with and being envious of others
2. Doing something just because others do
3. Setting yourself unrealistic goals and waiting for a lucky chance to come your way
4. Feeling sorry for yourself, moan and complain and to talk badly of others
5. Making other people, your past or society responsible for your fate
Instead, just remember these four points and you’ll be well on your way to radiating sparkling charisma!