When searching for the perfect gift it can be easy to get side-tracked. Choices can be difficult and, in the pressure of the season your motives may be mixed. Without realising it your gift could be loaded with all the wrong messages, so tarnishing the Christmas morning sparkle. Check out the following pressie no-nos, if you cherish love and peace.
These days we can be overloaded with goodies and your dear one may seriously mean it when they say ‘Don’t bother about me.’ So, should you listen? Absolutely not. However sensible this may seem, however sincere you’ve been in your ‘no gift’ agreement, come Christmas morning there’s going to be a hollow feeling, with no pressie to unwrap.
Everyone has a little child within, everyone likes to feel they’re thought about and loved, everyone likes a surprise. Before you put your head in your hands saying ‘No pressure, then!’, this does not have to be expensive or exotic. Anything from a key-ring with a special photo, to a voucher for a quiet meal out together when the madness is over – it doesn’t matter as long as it’s thoughtful.
If you’ve made a ‘no gifts’ agreement and you’re worried about awkwardness on the Big Day if you give and your lover doesn’t, then let them know. A little package under the tree with their name on it should do the trick. Or get a friend or family member to make it clear to them. Keep romance and caring alive with a little forethought.
SOMETHING YOU THINK THEY SHOULD HAVE
When we fall in love it is partly a matter of falling for the potential of the person concerned. We naturally idealise the person we love, and turning ‘in love’ to ‘loving’ is an important part of a lasting relationship. So, it usually happens that when we take off the rose tinted specs that our dear one isn’t quite as perfect as we thought. That’s when we might like to change them.
Even when you truly love someone it’s natural to want them to be the best version of themselves they can be. Gentle encouragement is fine. However, no-one is going to be ecstatic to find a great big Nag in their Christmas stocking! Because of this, for instance, it’s probably better not to give a gym subscription to a confirmed couch potato, unless you’ve truly discussed this.
Steer clear also of ‘helpful’ manuals, on-line courses or sporty clothes two sizes too small – hint, hint. Any gift that shouts ‘I want you to change!’ is going to ring a note of disharmony at Crimbo.
SOMETHING FROM THE LOCAL EIGHT-TILL-LATE
Most mini-supermarkets offer cheap and cheerful options for lazy shoppers. Reindeer mugs, Santa socks, maybe a ‘Christmas Memories’ photo frame – very easy to pick up when you pop in for bread or milk. As a gift such items are at best a joke and at worst an insult. Remember, your loved one probably goes to that shop, too, and will be brushing elbows with that tat when queuing for the checkout. Opening such a gift can drive away the seasonal magic in an instant.
FLOWERS, CHOCOLATES, EATABLES
These may be a complete no-no, grading to acceptable, depending on your choice. A bunch of tired Christmas blooms sprayed with glitter – no! A beautiful plant chosen for someone who loves gardening, definitely. (In fact plants, indoor and outdoor, can be a great option for a person who really has a lot of stuff.)
Chocolates and other eatables again depend on choice. A person who’s a connoisseur of chocolate may appreciate some specially chosen mouthfuls flavoured with chilli, whiskey or Prosecco, from a speciality shop, but a box of supermarket basics is another matter. The same goes for wines, liqueurs and other delicacies – they need to be spot on and out of the ordinary.
CAREFUL ABOUT ON-LINE SHOPPING
You’ll almost definitely do a lot of your Christmas shopping on-line, and you may spot the perfect little gift for your lover, but be careful. Take the trouble to check the article when it arrives, to make sure it matches its description, that it’s the right size/works/isn’t broken. Beware of gift-wrap options that you can’t check. Gift-wrapping may seem great, but it won’t take a minute to pop your pressie in a festive bag, after you’ve given it the once-over – and those gift-bags can be bought at the eight-till-late!
A PIECE OF YOUR MIND
Here’s a gift that you might not plan to give, but could jump out in all the stress of the season. Try not to do this. Everything is heightened at Christmas, and you could get things out of proportion or choose the wrong words. If something has to be said, save it till later, when you’re calm and sober, and simply count backwards from twenty if you feel ‘on the brink’ at Yuletide.
HOW WE CAN HELP
In this article we’ve looked at several gifts to avoid giving at Christmas. But however hard you try it’s so easy to get it wrong, in some way shape or form, when expectations run high. Don’t beat yourself up. Discuss any problems with one of our insightful, sensible Readers and you’ll find your Crimbo stresses melt away!
PUBLISHED: 12 December 2016