So your relationship has ended in divorce or separation. Valentine’s Day with its hearts and flowers and images of happy couples is yet another bit of torment that you have to go through. But it doesn’t have to be like that. Let this Valentine’s Day move you on, and you may find you even enjoy it!
In this article we look at:
FEEL THE PAIN
If you had what you thought was a happy relationship, your first Valentine’s Day alone is bound to rub salt in the wound. It’s best not to hide from this. Yes, you’ve lost your relationship. Yes, this can feel lonely, sad – heartbreaking even. However, this won’t go on forever.
You can indulge your grief on Valentine’s Day, if you wish. Lock the doors, open a box of tissues (and chocolates!) and mourn. Allow yourself this one day and/or evening of total grief. This is as bad as it gets. Tell yourself you’re at your lowest point, and after this things will get better.
The grieving process is part of moving on. Realise that the emotional pain you feel, however extreme, is only temporary. You may find it hard to imagine feeling better, but you will. Allowing your feelings to flow can, in the end, transform you.
INVOLVE YOUR FRIENDS
Many of your mates may well be in relationships, but others will be free. Get together and have a party, complete with games and competitions. How do your friends cope with being single? Who can think up the greatest number of advantages to being single tonight? What fun activities can you plan for the coming year?
Don’t be afraid to cry in front of your friends and get some consolation. Most people love to help and feel rewarded if they can lift you a bit. Rely on your friends and you could find your Valentine’s Day becomes a rich and gratifying time.
DO SOMETHING CRAZY OR DIFFERENT
Now you’re single you can do what you want – there’s no partner to embarrass or be judged by. So if you want to dance in a fountain or kiss a stranger – why not? Don’t be driven by desperation into doing something that’s not really ‘you’. Just think about the kind of things that amuse you and liberate yourself.
Plan a really absorbing activity to take your mind off the fact you’re alone. Theatre and cinema are all very well, but throwing yourself into something demanding may be better, starting with bowling, through to extreme sports, if that appeals.
A creative activity such as painting, woodwork or sculpture would also be therapeutic. When you see that you’ve made something beautiful you’ll feel better about yourself and your situation.
TAKE A BREAK
An impromptu holiday, preferably somewhere warm, where they’ve never heard of Valentine’s Day would be wonderful. Being taken out of that familiar routine and into somewhere exotic can enable you to re-frame your thoughts.
The world is actually much wider, more interesting and more full of possibilities than you’ve imagined up till now. Expand your beliefs about what may be on offer for you, and consider some fresh choices. Be hedonistic – savour every pleasure you can. The world is your oyster, live every moment!
HAVE A LAUGH!
Comedy shows were made for times like this. Take a seat in front of a hilarious comedian or simply spend time with people who make you giggle. There is a funny side even to the situation you’re in. Why should life be so serious? Make it your mission to have a laugh, and if the release of laughter leads to tears, fine. You may need that – but then you can start laughing again!
GET SOME THERAPY
Treat yourself to some therapy on Valentine’s Day, to engender some ‘feel good’ sensation. A massage would be lovely, and/or some aromatherapy, to help with your emotional state. Try reflexology as a deep, intuitive therapy for all your ills, and acupuncture to boost your vitality. If you have any aches and pains, probably a visit to a chiropractor will ease physical discomfort even if it doesn’t take away the pain in your heart.
You might like to talk to a counselor or hypnotherapist about what’s happened. It’s amazing how the ‘talking cure’ as Freud called it, can show things in a new light. Getting to know yourself better will be very empowering.
HOW WE CAN HELP
In this article we’ve looked at feeling the pain, involving your friends, doing something different, taking a break, getting therapy and having a laugh. Another wonderful way to help yourself is, of course, to talk about it all. Our sympathetic Readers will not only console you – they will give you a new take on your situation. Their psychic talents can bring you a new vision of the future. There’s no better Valentine’s Day treat to give yourself than a reading with TheCircle, so don’t waste time. Get in contact, and soon you’ll be smiling again.
PUBLISHED: 09 February 2017