You may be spring-cleaning your home, but a little dust is nothing compared to the harm a toxic relationship can do to your well-being. Let the sun shine into those murky emotional corners and throw some light on your doubts and dilemmas
We all know about physically abusive relationships, but there are lots of ways that a partner may use to gain unfair power. If you are being manipulated and misled, you may have little idea what is happening, and will probably blame yourself. The following checklist can help you clarify the situation.
• Is your partner ever violent towards you?
• Do you sometimes feel afraid of your partner?
• Do you often feel you have little control over what happens to you in the relationship?
• Does your partner stop you growing as a person?
• Does he or she put you down?
• Does he or she use the things you fear to control you?
• Does your partner shift responsibility for their feelings onto you?
• Do you feel your partner wants to control you and the relationship?
• Do you feel that your real needs and welfare are of little concern to your partner?
• Aside from practical considerations, do you feel you cannot leave the relationship?
• Are your friends worried about you in this relationship?
If you answered ‘yes’ to any of the above, then listen to those warning bells. Deep inside you may feel you deserve this treatment, but you don’t. Refuse to be a victim. Confronting a partner who is bullying or controlling may mean you get drawn back into the dynamic. Instead, get out. Focus on the positive, on sources of support and self-esteem, on alternatives available – and on emotional and physical safety. You cannot change your partner but you can change yourself. Stop playing their game. Direct your energies elsewhere and spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself.
Your love-life can be totally polluted even without having a partner. You can do this all by yourself with negative affirmations. These could be:
• No-one will ever love me.
• I always pick the wrong partners.
• I don’t deserve a good relationship.
• Nothing I try works – I’ll never meet anyone.
• I’m lonely and needy, and that always puts people off.
• I could never let anyone close – I can’t trust.
Do you recognise any of these statements, or ones like them? No statement such as those could ever be true, unless you make it so. Continue to think like this, however, and you will make it so. Few areas of life reflect your inner beliefs more exactly than what you experience in relationships. If you’re on your own after a run of bad luck, or feel you’ve never made a partnership gel, then you need to de-tox your own attitude, for that is what’s stopping you from finding true love. Talking this through will help, so why not make a start by calling one of our expert psychics? Dating advice and relationship advice are available with a few clicks, when you contact us at The Circle. Find support with your love issues, get your relationship horoscope or benefit from psychic insight. There’s no need to cope with your anxieties alone – put in a call today.
PUBLISHED: 18 March 2015