Valentine’s Day is a time for couples. Red hearts, roses and images of romance are all around. Everywhere seems geared to twosomes, but you’re single? So what! There are things to be grateful for, so be positive!
In this article we look at:
- Keeping the ‘hype’ in perspective
- Enjoying your social life
DON’T BELIEVE THE HYPE
If you’re an imaginative, romantic person it’s so easy to believe all the images. Love is everywhere – so many people wafting around on Cloud Nine, gazing into each others’ eyes! But don’t you believe it! Reality will often be very different. One partner may be cheating – it’s not rare. They may be having continual rows about who does the washing up, or disagreeing about children and in-laws.
That perfect couple-dom only exists inside your head, and in the world of advertisers, who are selling the dream in order to sell other things. Real partnerships require work and compromise – hurrah! – you don’t have to worry about any of that!
ROMANCE DOESN’T LAST
Romance has been the main inspiration for poetry, songs and stories down through the ages. The language of love is ‘forever’ so it’s easy to assume that it’s the main motivation behind most people and couples. However, it is well known that the ‘in love’ sensation doesn’t last. After approximately two years some of the gloss fades from any relationship. Reality sets in, the faults we all have become apparent, and the partnership requires work.
This is not to say there are no good relationships, for of course there are. But the image of being wafted through to ‘happy ever after’ on a rosy tide is false. Being in a relationship requires effort and compromise – sometimes it is far sweeter to be solitary.
ENJOY YOUR SOCIAL LIFE
As a single your social life is better – research shows this. You have more time to put into friendships, and this pays off as friends taking more trouble with you. This Valentine’s Day, why not have a special Singles Night with any friends in a similar position? Celebrate all the things you can do because you aren’t part of a couple – all the fun, slightly edgy stuff that might make a partner uneasy – would you truly be able to enjoy yourself this much if you were hitched?
Celebrate also the closeness you have with other singles, the chats and confidences. Consciously appreciate each other, and have a really good laugh, because that’s what a social life is about.
YOU CAN TRUST GOOD FRIENDS
Having a partner you can rely on to see you through good and bad times is wonderful. However, relationships are usually more complex than friendships. It’s possible to find out one day that the partner you’ve relied on no longer loves you, or wants something different. Because of the intensity in romantic relationships, it may be harder to see the other person clearly, meaning there could be surprises down the line.
With a really good friend, however, this is less likely. You can be devoted to your close friends while still seeing them clearly. You’re less likely to feel betrayed, offended or upset by their behavior. You’re also more likely to feel empathy, compatibility and support, because you probably chose your friends for this, rather than chemistry.
This Valentine’s Day show your close friends you love them by sending them a card. This doesn’t have to be soppy or sentimental – just a way of appreciating the very real benefits of friendship.
‘ME’ TIME IS PRECIOUS
When you’re in a couple you always have to consider someone else. Yes, of course you can have time to yourself, but usually your personal space is a matter to be negotiated, not taken for granted. When you’re single you can spend as much time on yourself as you wish, pampering and indulging yourself, doing the things that you enjoy, and having time to reflect on any matter that needs your consideration. This makes you stronger and more stable as a person. It’s a valuable basis for a good future.
BE IN THE MOMENT
Despite counting the advantages, you may still find you dream of being part of a couple. That’s fine, but never waste the precious present longing for something possible in the future. Live every moment to the full and practice being in the ‘now’. That will stand you in good stead and make you a much more fulfilling and interesting partner, when the time comes.
HOW WE CAN HELP
In the above we have looked at popular ‘hype’ of coupledom, the fact romance fades, enjoying your social life, valuing your friends and ‘me’ time, and being in the ‘now. Of course there are many advantages to being alone. But sometimes that can be really difficult, especially if you’ve been used to being part of a couple. Maybe it’s hard to appreciate what you have in terms of independence and you need some reassurance about yourself and your future. Our intuitive and sympathetic Readers can help you greatly with this, so give us a call and get rid of that lonely feeling without delay.
PUBLISHED: 06 February 2017