Having a loving and fulfilling relationship is one of the best things in life. It makes the bad stuff okay and the good stuff magical. But just being in a partnership doesn’t guarantee that happiness
Here are seven ideas for you to try. If just one or two of them appeals, it can lift you both to a new level. Even the best relationships need work, so power up yours for an unforgettable August.
1) Experts on the esoteric say that when you’re in love your vibrations are raised, and you and your lover vibrate in harmony. But after the first couple of years this ebbs. You return to ‘normal’ life, you go out of synch with your partner and faults and bad habits that you didn’t even notice start to grate on you. We all know that life is in the way you look at it, and you need to rediscover that rosy glow. Do this by revisiting places you spent time in when you first fell in love, do the same things, remind each other about those times, dwelling on little details you remember and reliving the enchantment. Don’t try too hard – just relax and let yourself drift back to the ‘in love’ phase. It’s still available and you can shift into it if you let yourself.
2) Get physical! Do a sport together (competitiveness can be sexy!) go swimming or just go for long walks. When you do exercise your body produces its own form of morphine as endorphins. This gives you a natural ‘high’, and if you and your significant other have this together it naturally leads to greater intimacy.
3) Enjoy nature. One of the best forms of exercise is to go for long walks. The scents and sensations you experience when you’re out in woodland or strolling in fields activate the most primitive parts of the brain, enabling you to appreciate your partner on a more physical level. Take a picnic, head off somewhere remote and make love out in the open.
4) Do a good deed together. Being kind creates a win-win-win situation. It raises serotonin levels in the brains of the person who gives, the person who receives and anyone who witnesses it. Up your joint feel-good factor by helping a charity together or just visiting someone needy. It also helps you count your blessings leading to the next point.
5) Practice gratitude. Even if your relationship has been less than brilliant, there are still many things to be grateful for. Fostering gratitude opens the heart and actually creates space for more good things to flow in. Gratitude is the counterpoint to love – they increase each other. You could make a game of gratitude with your lover. Each take a pen and paper and write down six things about your relationship for which you’re grateful. Then compare your list. If you share the same reasons for gratitude, see if you can find yet more. If you have different reasons, how can you extend your list to include points from the other’s? Reflect together on the good things.
6) Express anger and other negative emotions. So far every point in this article has been positive. However, all relationships have difficulties and negative elements. No partnership is ever improved by bottling things up. If you can’t express anger and disappointment, then chances are you can’t express love, either. Make a pact with your lover that you will talk about your negative feelings, and that you will also hear how the other feels. You may not be able to fix everything, but acceptance and openness are great for bonding.
7) Have new experiences together. It’s summer, and that’s the time for adventure, travel and visiting different places. Whether you have the time and money to travel far afield, or can only have a weekend on a small budget, you can find something different to do, if you try. Or you could treat yourselves to a spa break, have a sauna, try reflexology, Indian Head Massage or simple mindfulness. Tell each other how it felt – was it the same? Or did your lover react in a different way? This can expand your understanding and make the relationship more stimulating.
In this article we have looked at seven ways to give your relationship a boost, and certainly, if things have gone stale, trying just one suggestion can help. However, we all know that some partnerships are very difficult and you may have deep problems, or be in a situation that can’t be so easily solved. That’s when you need individual and expert help from one of our kind Readers, who can show you other ways forward. Don’t worry or suffer in silence – support is just a phone call away, so lets hear from you today.
PUBLISHED: 5 August 2016