It’s the same story every Christmas – what presents to give. Maybe you are struggling with a budget, or maybe you’re trying to think up something original for people who have too much already. We all know the best gifts often can’t be seen or touched, but rather felt within the heart. If Christmas gifts are a dilemma, why not make a pact with your darling that you will put some or all of the following on Santa’s list.
We often speak of this but at Christmas it’s even more difficult to arrange. That makes it all the more precious!
Sort out a special date when you can go out and be together. Or just lock the door and have a quiet evening in. If you have children or other responsibilities, ask someone else to take care of them for a night – that could be their present to you! Make a pact that you won’t talk about Christmas or any other stressy subject – you will just be nice to each other.
If the person in question is a close friend or relative instead of a life partner, you can still spend time in this way and feel the link between you grow richer and stronger.
REALLY LISTEN – AND LISTEN AGAIN!
True listening is a skill, and not everyone knows how to do it. It means devoting your whole attention to the person speaking and entering their world so you feel what they feel and understand deeply.
Proper listening may involve asking questions, so you’re clear about what the other person is saying. It may mean checking out exactly what they mean by a word they have chosen, it means encouraging them to explore and express their feelings, and it most certainly means not interrupting with emotions and wishes of your own.
You can practice listening when you’re having your quality time. It’s a gift you can give each other, taking it in turns to speak. Hopefully at the end of this you will both have another gift’ – that of understanding.
However much you may love someone we all take people for granted – and we all blossom when we’re appreciated!
Spend ten minutes – or even more – telling the one you care for all about their good points. Remind them of their achievements, let them know how much you admire them. This must be absolutely, totally positive, with not even a hint at anything needing to be improved.
As an extra gift you might like to write down your praise, roll it up in a scroll and tie with red green and gold ribbon, and put it under the tree.
Show that you are truly grateful to this person for being in your life. Remind them of the things they have done that have made you happy, the ways they have helped you and all the good things, large and small, that they have brought your way.
Some of the gratitude will probably follow on from the compliments, but not all. You’re marking all the intimate, personal words and deeds that have made your life so much better, from the smallest such as making you a cuppa to much bigger actions like supporting you through times of crisis.
The great thing about gratitude is that makes the person who feels it just as blessed as the person receiving it.
They say if you really love someone set them free and when they come back to you the relationship will be stronger.
If the person you care for has been longing for free time or the opportunity to go off and do something alone, let them do it. By doing this you are showing you honour their wishes and that you trust the relationship enough to allow this space between you. You’ll have so much to talk about and share when you get back together.
DO A HATED CHORE
We all have things to do as part of our routine and sometimes they can be a real pain. It’s such a treat when a kind ‘someone’ takes a burdensome task off our hands.
If your special someone detests taking out the rubbish, cleaning the toilet or getting up in the cold to make tea, do it for them.
Make sure you do it with a good grace, and that you complete it properly, just as they like it. That lovely break will put a smile on their face for some hours to come.
MEDITATE AND BE MINDFUL TOGETHER
This can be in addition to your ‘quality time’ or during it, but it doesn’t have to take very long – in fact ten minutes may be enough. Using a CD or app will be a great help, because you will know you are both concentrating on the same thing.
Settle yourselves comfortably, with no possibility of interruption by children, pets or the phone. Touch fingers if you like. Feel yourselves going into that ‘zone’ of peace and relaxation. After the meditation, share your impressions with each other and say thanks for that ‘gift’ of a journey into inward space.
HOW WE CAN HELP
Now you’ve got a helpful list, including quality time, listening, complimenting, being grateful, setting free, doing a chore and meditating together. Each and every one of these is precious, but if you need more advice one of our resourceful Readers can help you, so put in a call today. Even better, buy your loved one a Reading, and give their Christmas that extra inspiration.
PUBLISHED: 26 December 2017