Most of us dream of a Christmas filled with peace and love. You might be hoping that the magic of the season might make any problems disappear and pour the balm of goodwill over everything. But sometimes despite all your efforts the celebrations can be fraught with tension and you may even have found that troubles have worsened. If that happens we’ve got some advice to help heal the rifts.
Here we look at:
- Being aware of what happened
- Asking yourself about realism
WERE YOU REALISTIC?
If you love Christmas you might hope that the enchantment will rub off on everyone and people who are often grumpy and uncooperative will change. Surely anyone who says ‘Bah! Humbug!’ doesn’t really mean it?
Sadly the truth of the matter is there are those who hate Christmas and find the whole thing a bind. Could they possibly have a point? If you’ve been expecting others to change and fit in with your image then you have set yourself up for disillusionment so take it on the chin and find your magic elsewhere.
TALK ABOUT IT
Can you possibly discuss what went wrong? If your loved ones are receptive, why not have a calm meeting to air the issues and try to sort them. Make a pact with the following:
- Everyone says how they feel, and why
- No-one accuses anyone of anything, or criticizes. You all state simply the events as you saw them
- Each person promises not to raise their voice or interrupt
- Each person says something constructive or appreciative
- Everyone commits to trying to find a way to make things up
Take notes of what happens and keep to your commitments. You could reach understanding – and have more fun!
FIND WAYS TO MOVE ON
If Christmas has been disappointing you don’t need to carry that on, into New Year. As you take down the decorations you may feel sad that things weren’t quite right, but Christmas isn’t everything and there are other ways to be happy.
Make plans to enjoy something else, together in the New Year. Probably with tensions lifted and issues brought to the fore, you have a better chance of a good time.
Having something to look forward to can be a great bonding factor, and it will take your mind off what went wrong. Hopefully if you’ve discussed things thoroughly you will now be wiser and stronger and can be much more constructive about relationships generally.
HOW WE CAN HELP
If your Christmas has been a disappointment you can become self-aware, ask yourself if you were realistic, forgive, discuss and move on. These options may work for you, but if there are deeper concerns or if you have been badly hurt, you will probably need extra support. That’s where you can rely on our Readers, so put in a call and talk to someone wise and understanding who will not let you down.
PUBLISHED: 03 January 2018