When you met you were madly in love and you couldn’t keep away from each other. Everything seemed magical and you felt electrified. However, as time goes by and the practical demands of life take over, you may find that you and your lover aren’t connecting with the same intensity. Spring is such a sensual season, so bring that loved-up feeling back and enjoy each other again.
- The grass is not always greener
- Holding a re-commitment ceremony
- Doing something different
THE GRASS IS NOT ALWAYS GREENER…
Trees are flushing, the grass is becoming more vivid – everywhere Nature is springing with green. The world seems full of promise and you may be tempted to look outside your relationship for excitement. You know what they say – the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. In other words, things look better from a distance. In reality, however, it’s usually proves to be an illusion.
Someone else may seem more exciting and may seem to offer more than your current partner, but is that really the case? And how can you be sure? Remember how you felt at the beginning and all the things you share. Is it worth laying all that on the line just for the sake of something new?
Your first step in revving up your relationship should be in re-committing fully to it. Decide you’ll put everything into creating joy and bliss with your lover, looking for enchantment with them alone.
HOLD A RE-COMMITMENT CEREMONY
You may be married, engaged or consider yourselves totally committed, but this can and should be re-affirmed.
Arrange a few days off and away together, somewhere you both love. Choose gifts for each other such as jewellery, a poetry book or crystal. Depending on where you are you can set the scene with candles and incense, or outside in a ring of flowers or rose-petals, or simply in woodland, park or hillside.
When you find your special place affirm that this is sacred to you. You can do this by stating this and sitting quietly in meditation for a couple of minutes. Imagine that your place is spiritually cleansed and filled with rosy light.
Start your little ceremony by each telling the other what you especially love about them. Follow this by making vows. These could be saying ‘I promise I will always put everything into our relationship and do my best to make you happy’ or something more complicated.
Now take a white cord, hold hands and bind them together with your free hands (it doesn’t really matter whether they’re left or right). Say ‘Two become one in joy and tenderness’.
Celebrate your recommitment with a special meal and drink, and make love to consummate the re-commitment.
‘Sensuous’ means enjoying the pleasures of the senses. This does not mean just sex – it involves everything that’s pleasurable.
If things between you have become stale or strained, making love might feel like too much intimacy, so don’t force the issue. Instead enjoy other sensations. For instance, you could give each other a massage, or have a spa day together.
Share special food – for instance cheese and wine tasting, or comparing different sorts of chocolate. Pop morsels into each others’ mouths and describe the flavours.
Go to gigs and listen to music together. If you both like dancing that can be best of all, for when your bodies start moving together it brings you close.
When you approach intimacy, take it slowly and take nothing for granted. Cuddling, stroking and complimenting may be enough at first. Be patient, relaxed and ‘in the moment’, so everything happens naturally.
You might think that steamy passion evaporates if you get the giggles, but actually the reverse is often true. If you have a good laugh it will make you unwind, open up and be responsive. Laughing at the same thing is great for bonding.
DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT
Plain old same old can make you numb, so you lose the ability to be interested. Try changing all that and doing something adventurous or even crazy together. Once you’re out of your familiar environment you can see your lover in a new light and they can dazzle you again.
MEDITATE AND VISUALISE
If you meditate together that can connect you on a spiritual level, which does not mean you become disconnected from the physical. On the contrary, it can make the connection between you electrifying.
Try doing a guided meditation together. Make sure it takes you somewhere wonderful and romantic. When you come back to the here-and-now you’ll bring some of that transcendence with you.
HOW WE CAN HELP
We’ve considered how the grass isn’t always greener, how a recommitment ceremony can benefit you, being sensuous, laughing together, doing something different and meditating together. Any or all of these will help boost your sensual enjoyment of your relationship.
PUBLISHED: 01 May 2018