The person you love and rely on, possible the one you’ve been with for many years, is going through a strange phase. You realise this is probably what they call ‘mid-life crisis’, but what do you do about it? How do you cope with their attitude and behavior, when it’s probably upsetting you? Is your relationship threatened? And how can you help them through it?
The Mid-life Crisis is a very real psychological fact that affects almost everyone, although with some people it can be hardly noticeable, or even a positive experience. It can occur, or start to occur, in the late 30’s, and some people can feel its effects into their fifties. It was identified by the Analytical Psychologist C.G. Jung, in the last century, and astrologers will tell you that it is backed up by planetary cycles. The mid-life phase causes you to review your achievements and to ask yourself some difficult questions, such as Am I on the right path? Am I expressing myself? Is my youth slipping away” and ‘What have I missed in life? Issues that have been repressed, or side-lined, can now become key. Add to this the shifting hormones that are well-known for women as the menopause (but which affect men, too) and you have a recipe for discontent, depression, frustration and even panic. Many people try to recapture lost youth, and this could mean affairs with much younger partners. Others may want to change jobs or break free, to do something amazing. But don’t worry! With proper management, mid-life can be a creative and exciting time. Things may not stay the same, but they can be better, more fulfilling and placed on a more secure footing.
You can’t go through this for them, but you can make the transition much easier by following these guidelines.
• Don’t try to stop the process they are going through, however uneasy you feel. Let them talk to you in depth, if they want, and try to tolerate their silence, if they clam up. This isn’t personal and won’t go on forever.
• Find help and support for yourself – you need to talk about your reactions so you stay strong. Our readers at The Circle are a wonderful resource.
• Try to encourage your partner to talk to a professional, also. It may be easier for them to discuss their feelings with someone neutral.
• Work at understanding their feelings and help them bring about certain changes. You will need to be tolerant, but keep an open mind, for you could find all of this exciting, if you let yourself. For instance, your partner may want to buy a motorbike or open-top sports car, or take off for a few months in a caravan. They may want to change career, re-train and/or explore. Do your best to be behind them with this.
• If they want to go on a diet or fitness regime, to regain youthful looks, join them!
• Remember, they may need a lot of personal space, so step back when necessary.
• Of course there are limits to what you’ll tolerate for you also have needs and a life path to pursue. Decide on your ‘bottom line’ and don’t sacrifice your self-respect.
• Remember that if your relationship is basically good, this mid-life phase will eventually improve and deepen it!
When your partner is going through this sort of crisis, you need – and deserve! – help. That’s where we come in! Dating advice and relationship advice are available with a few clicks, when you contact us at The Circle. Find clarity with your love and relationship issues, get your relationship horoscope or benefit from psychic insight. There’s no need to cope with your anxieties alone – put in a call today.
PUBLISHED: 2 June 2015