We all feel low from time to time, and in fact most of us get ‘depressed’ now and again. Life loses its meaning, we become lethargic and negative and our fears and anxieties multiply. Usually we come out of this phase, either naturally or because something gives us a push. However, for many people it isn’t that simple. Depression becomes an illness as they go deeper and deeper into a grey zone of hopelessness.
This can be very difficult to live with, and if your lover is depressed it is bound to affect your life. Try these tips:
• LOOK AFTER YOURSELF
The first advice when dealing with almost any problem in life and relationships is to ‘look after yourself’. Easy to say, hard to do when you’re living with a wet blanket, or someone who is seriously alarming you by their state of mind. However, you must take care of yourself, because if you sink also, you will only increase the problem. So do the things that keep you cheerful, such as going out, following your interests, exercising, being with friends and laughing.
• ENCOURAGE YOUR LOVED ONE TO GET HELP
You can’t do this alone. Depression is an illness so seek counselling, hypnotherapy and/or see your GP, for sometimes medication can see you through the worst of the condition. However, pills only relieve the symptoms, so try to encourage your dear one to explore the roots of the problem, in childhood, for instance. Our readers at The Circle can give encouragement and point you in the right direction.
• REMEMBER THAT REPRESSED ANGER IS OFTEN PART OF DEPRESSION
The one you love may act resentfully towards you, and you may feel like a scapegoat. Probably they will shut you out, which can hurt very much. But this isn’t about you, even though it seems personal, so try to stay calm.
• BE REALISTIC
Try to face the situation as it really is, without ‘awfulising’ or brushing it off as nothing. If your loved one is deeply depressed, they could be a danger to themselves, it’s true, so address this if you can. But try not to expect the worst, for most people come out of depression, and it can be an experience that makes you wise, sensitive and creative.
• DON’T FEEL GUILTY
When a person is depressed they can guilt-trip you, or you may simply blame yourself. But whatever you have done, or fear you have done, you are not responsible for their depression. It is a separate issue.
• YOU CAN’T PUT THIS RIGHT
The person who is depressed has to find change within themselves. Yes you can encourage and cajole, but there is a limit. It is hard to accept that your lover is on this life path, but it is their life path, and all you can do is be there.
Sometimes with the best will in the world, sorting out issues like depression can seem impossible. That’s when you owe it to yourself to get support. Dating advice and relationship advice are available with a few clicks, when you contact us at The Circle. Find clarity with your love issues, get your relationship horoscope or benefit from psychic insight. There’s no need to cope with your anxieties alone – put in a call today
PUBLISHED: 23 MARCH 2015