We all want to be loved and wanted. However, sometimes the more we long for affection the further away it seems. Don’t be stuck with that needy feeling.
Whether you’re in a relationship or looking for that special one, boost your ‘lovability’ with our five point guide, and draw happiness your way.
- Do more of what makes you feel good
- Commit to positive change
EMBRACE AND APPRECIATE YOUR PAST
Do you often find yourself going over the past and regretting what you did? Maybe you feel bitter and resentful towards those who have hurt you and you are kicking yourself for supposed mistakes. If you are doing that, you generate an aura of negativity that can push people away. Instinctively, others may sense that you want them to heal you and maybe to make up for what you’ve lost – and that’s just not attractive.
TAKE ACTION. Forgiveness is a magical, healing balm that will make everything okay. It’s good for your health and good for your future. It heals wounds old and new – and the greatest forgiveness of all is forgiving yourself.
Understand why you did what you did, take into account all the pressures on you from childhood and later, and see the vulnerable child within you that simply reacted from habit or mistaken assumptions. Even if you have been really destructive, analyse where that came from. So you did those things, but you are not those things. You are a spiritual being on a long journey, so forgive your poor little self and love yourself.
Try to understand the fears and weaknesses of those who hurt you. See the little child in them. Realise also that what they did to you taught you valuable lessons and can strengthen you if you let it. See them surrounded by a pearly glow as you say ‘I thank you, I bless you, I release you’. Remember that forgiveness isn’t something you’re doing because you ‘should’. Nor are you in any way saying that what they did was ‘okay’. You are just releasing your corrosive emotions and sending love – and what you send comes back, threefold.
Gratitude is like a great big magical magnet that draws other good things towards you. We all moan and complain, but very rarely do we go over all the things in life that are right – fantastic, even. We often take them for granted, but remembering them enriches your life immeasurably. Focusing on the good things not only makes you more positive, giving you a rosy glow of lovability – it also attracts more of the same. You can include in this the love that you’re wanting.
TAKE ACTION If, like most people, you’re in the habit of focusing on the negative, it may take a bit of practice to turn this around. So concentrate your mind by making lists and reading them to yourself morning and evening. If you have a partner, share and compare your lists – and make sure you include plenty of things about him or her for which you’re grateful!
DO MORE OF WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD
This sounds like such obvious advice, but the truth is you probably don’t do it! Most of us carry a conviction that life should be hard and that doing what you enjoy is self-indulgent and even sinful. This idea has caused so much harm down the centuries, and it is simply wrong. Doing what makes you feel good puts you in harmony with the Universe, filling you with joy and productivity
TAKE ACTION Review the things you are doing that make you feel bad. Make a commitment to cut these back, but don’t dwell on them. Identify at least three things you love doing. These could include yoga, walking, being with pets, reading, painting, music, dancing….. If you think you don’t have time for these activities you are wrong. Imagine for a moment being on your deathbed, wishing you’d danced more and remembering all the lame excuses you made. Throw away the excuses, enjoy your life and be the kind of person everyone is drawn to – a happy and fulfilled one.
What you give you will receive, so help others from an open and caring heart and you will attract the same. Of course, it’s best not to do this just in the hope of attracting love. Find that generous and caring place within you that empathises with the way other people feel, and reach out to them with support and affection, letting joy flow into your heart at the difference you can make.
TAKE ACTION. Set yourself the challenge of seeing how many people you can make smile in a morning. Next morning, try to beat your record. Give words of praise, compliments, even little gifts. Share laughter, be encouraging. Let the realization that you are a force for good in the world make you feel lifted – and see yourself as the kind of person that anyone would want to be close to.
COMMIT TO POSITIVE CHANGE
There’s a saying ‘Change is the only constant’, but you don’t have to be powerless, taken along willy-nilly on the tide of change. You can be a force for change yourself, steering you way on the tides of time and being co-creator of your own destiny. You are sure to have bits of your life that feel ‘missing’ or not quite right, things you’ve been meaning to do and experiences that you’ve longed for. What are you waiting for?
TAKE ACTION Do one thing right now that you’ve been wanting to do. if you want to meet people, go on-line and join a dating site. Make a call, book a ticket, sign up for a course. It could be that you find you’ve gone in the wrong direction, but so what? When you open doors other doors open beyond. Keep up the momentum and remember, dynamic people who are committed to life are always attractive.
HOW WE CAN HELP
We’ve considered embracing your past, feeling grateful, doing more of what makes you feel good, helping others and committing to positive change. All of these will make you more magnetic and lovable. But if you need more of a boost or help with a specific issue, help is at hand. Just put in a call to one of our Readers and wake up to the fact that love is close at hand.
PUBLISHED: 15 November 2018