Falling in love is a truly magical experience. Nothing transforms your life and your ideas about yourself like being in love, and feeling the euphoria of being loved in return. What a pity this phase fades. Even the best relationships go through difficult times, when you may feel bored or resentful, or have doubts about how well you’re getting on. If you’re not careful this can start a downward slide, even resulting in your relationship being on the rocks. Does it have to be like this? Certainly not. Don’t wait around, hoping the Love Fairy will wave her magic wand. Do some simple, everyday rituals and stay on Cloud Nine.
RITUAL ONE SHARED TIME
This special person shares your life. They are there morning and evening, you plan activities together, you assume the other will always be there – but how much are you truly together?
Togetherness doesn’t just happen. It may be natural at the start of your relationship but as time goes by, home, job and children take over. It’s very common to share the same space, the same life, but to be essentially apart. Even when you’re doing something you both enjoy, how much are you actually sharing?
The worry most people have is lack of time. How can we share time when we’re both dashing about? The answer is to be more conscious of when you are together and to turn it into a ritual, however short.
A candle can turn something ordinary into a magical rite. Have a Love Candle, perhaps a heart-shaped one and/or a deep rose, pink or red candle, that you identify as your Shared Time signal. When you’re eating together, light the candle, even if this is only for a few minutes. If you’re sharing your table with noisy kids, light the candle over coffee when they’ve left. Hold hands and really look at one another. Say ‘Now is our priceless shared time’ to affirm what’s happening. Then say three things that you truly want the other person to understand. At least one of these should be something loving and appreciative. None of them should be about anything you’ve been arguing about – leave that for another occasion.
Your Shared Time may be only ten minutes, or only five – or even less. But if you’re really there together in the moment, it will keep your relationship alive.
RITUAL TWO LOVING TOUCH
When you meet that special someone every touch is electric. Love-making is wonderful and you can’t get enough of each other. As time goes by that can wear off. Love-making can become rushed and mechanical. Other touch gets reduced to a peck on the cheek as you flap about. What a shame!
To stay connected, give each other a massage. Complicated techniques aren’t needed and although you will have to set aside half an hour, a happy relationship is worth that.
Dissolve essential oil of lavender in extra virgin olive oil, two drops per teaspoon. Take it in turn to massage each others shoulders. Take note of how your partner likes to be touched – you may learn something about them you never realised. As you massage, imagine you are transferring warmth and healing. Ask your partner what they would like from the massage, such as calmness, a clear head, a good night’s sleep, etc, and imagine them having this. Affirm that you are sending this, through your finger-tips.
If your massage turns into love-making, ensure this is deeply sensitive, slow and intimate. Make a true connection.
RITUAL THREE LOVE LETTERS
There’s something extra special about seeing something in writing. It stays with you. You can read it over and over again, enjoying it repeatedly. Let the written word bind you closer to your dear one.
Write a special, loving message on a piece of pink paper. This may be a simple ‘I love you’ popped into a lunch box, a naughty suggestion in an underwear drawer or a longer note packed into a suitcase, to warm the heart of your lover in some anonymous hotel room. Wrap your note up with a dried rose petal or sprig of time – both of those plants were said in olden times to be sacred to Venus, so let their romantic vibe enhance your wishes.
RITUAL FOUR SHARE YOUR AURA
We are all surrounded by a sphere of light that can be seen by clairvoyants. This is your individual energy, emanating from your body. If you are sensitive you will be aware of the feelings of someone who touches your aura, even if this is subconscious.
Depending on your energy-level and state of enlightenment, your aura can extend for a metre or two, to filling the room and beyond. When you are close to your lover imagine the contact being made by your two auras. How is your lover feeling? What do they need? What do you want to convey, through your personal light?
Let your aura reach out to encircle your loved one. Send your love and imagine your aura glowing with it. Ask your loved one to do the same. After you have done this, share your experiences. Has it brought you closer together? How did you feel and what, if anything, have you learnt about your partner’s state of mind?
RITUAL FIVE TALKING STICK
Tribal gatherings used to be controlled by the Talking Stick. This was a stick that was passed around, each person taking their turn with it and only the person holding the stick was allowed to talk. Everyone else had to listen.
One of the most damaging things in a relationship can be not listening. Maybe you’re too impatient, maybe you jump to conclusions or perhaps – sadly – you can’t be bothered. For your relationship to flourish you must truly listen.
At least once a week have a Talking Stick session. Use a special rod or wand that you’ve decorated – you could even hang small mementoes and souvenirs of your relationship, such as jewellery or photos on the stick. When one of you is holding the stick they get to talk and be listened to. Keep quiet if it’s not your turn and make an effort to understand. It can bring you so much closer together.
HOW WE CAN HELP
You now have five ideas for rituals to bring you together – shared time, loving touch, love letters, sharing your aura and talking stick. Try to build all of these into your regular life, to enchant your relationship. If you’re going through hard times, however, and it feels like your lover is drifting away or won’t cooperate, probably you need a little more help. Take heart – our empathic Readers are very wise about relationships and are just waiting at the end of the phone for your call. Contact us today and feel happier quickly.
PUBLISHED: 11 August 2017