When we fall in love we hope for long-term happiness and fulfilment
Are you a love junkie? Meaning, do you crave love and attention and make wrong decisions to get it? The difference between love and lust is undeniably vast yet so many people do not recognise what is it they are actually after. Of course sexual desire can be a part of falling in love, but it is not the be all and end all and it is certainly not what cements the foundations for a long lasting partnership. When we fall in love, we hope for long-term happiness and fulfilment. We hope that we have found the one person that we want to spend the rest of our life with. It is important to be sexually compatible but at the same time, it is something that can be worked on as time goes by.
A typical lust junkie is someone who is desperate for attention. They throw themselves at potential sexual partners, live in the moment and do not think about the consequences or their reputation for the future. Casual sex becomes a replacement for real love, giving the love junkie a short burst of satisfaction which is why the craving quickly returns. A history of one night stands and short relationships is typical and this person often lacks self-esteem and self-respect. They will not openly admit that deep down they believe a real solid relationship is out of their reach. This is not so, everyone is capable of having a relationship, but it is their attitude towards themselves and others that needs to change.
A typical love junkie desperately wants to be adored, to fall in love and live happily ever after. Yet for some reason they find it difficult to find the perfect person. Often they put so much emphasis on making the relationship the way they want it, that the partner feels suffocated. The love junkie does not relax and enjoy the early stages of the relationship, they instead put too much pressure on talking about the future. Often this becomes a relationship where one partner is only staying because they feel they will let the other down and can’t be open about their true intentions. Every relationship should be 50/50, both of you should want to work at it and when one person isn’t giving as much as they are taking, the balance is lost and the relationship starts to break down. Lack of self-respect and respect for each other can make you feel powerless, therefore it is important to get a balance and to show respect which will in turn invite commitment on both parts.
Whether you’re a lust junkie or a love junkie, when you’re unhappy – you can play games. Relationships can easily get stuck in a rut and if a third person shows interest in a partner, problems can arise. What may have been a mild flirtation that would before never have been thought of as more, can become a psychological and physical temptation, creating an opening for some fun on the side. One wrong decision during a moment of weakness could cost you your whole current existence – your relationship or marriage can break down, you may have to find somewhere else to live, the consequences are huge. If you decide to be secretive, don’t think that you will never be found out – karma has a way of bringing things out in the open! Extra marital affairs are one of the most common reasons for divorce. So to relieve your boredom, or for five minutes of fun, you potentially lose your family, friends and home. Is it worth it?
Do you want to have a long-term relationship with someone that you can love, trust and who has good intentions for your happiness?
Realising that something is wrong in your relationship or thinking about your attitude towards your partner is so important because once you recognise that there’s an issue, you can begin to try and resolve things. Do not be fooled by thinking you can build a whole new life with your mystery lover, it is extremely rare that these relationships work out and continue long-term. The relationships start off on the wrong foot, others get hurt and it becomes a very stressful situation which in turn opens up the ground to arguments and blame. There is no right or wrong in being a love or lust junkie, but you do need to think about your future. Do you want to have a long-term relationship with someone that you can love, trust and who has good intentions for your happiness? It really is a simple question, but your attitudes and beliefs within can only answer it honestly. If your attitude does not match with your long-term desires, then maybe you should consider changing it.
If you need more advice on your relationships, our experienced readers are here to help
PUBLISHED: 08 February 2016