Most of us believe we want love, and many of us are looking for it. Of course, we’re aware that some people are ‘commitment-phobes’, avoiding getting hitched because they have a ‘thing’ about it. You may have been strung along by one of those, or had your heart broken. Probably you have at least one friend who’s suffered at the hands of someone who just can’t devote themselves to a partner. You may dismiss a ‘commitment-phobe’ as unkind, but really we all have some fear of entrusting our lives to another person. Sometimes these can work unconsciously, and without realising it you may be avoiding love, or even pushing it away. Look out for the signs and don’t let being scared sabotage your happiness.
* Being in love makes you vulnerable. Needing another person, believing they are The One and that your happiness depends on them can take away your power. Whatever you want, plan or do in life can be affected by this special person. If relationships tend to fall apart for you, ask yourself if you are secretly shying away from being emotionally exposed. Maybe you find career or family demands tend to surface, just when you could be cementing things – but could it be that you prioritise these as an excuse to stay independent? Your fears are understandable, but you can protect yourself by holding on to other things in life that give you joy, such as your work or your creativity. However much your partner matters to you, it isn’t healthy to make them your whole world. So commit your heart, but not your whole life.
* Relationships involve taking risks. Life changes such as moving in together, altering your habits and routines, meeting your partner’s friends and family – they’re all a challenge. But be brave. Nothing ventured nothing gained. Be positive about it because it will probably be enjoyable, and even if it isn’t, rest assured that as time goes by you’ll be glad you tried.
* Love hurts. Feeling strong emotions of desire and devotion are painful, even if your lover feels exactly the same about you. New love can also stir memories of situations in the past when you were hurt. As time goes by, however, feelings become more gentle, trust builds and although the excitement may fade, you’ll be more contented and fulfilled.
* Love means a little sacrifice and a lot of responsibility. If you love someone you can’t always have your own way, and if you live together you’ll have to compromise a lot of the time. If you want the relationship to succeed, you need to keep your promises and obligations, living up to your part of the bargain. That isn’t easy, especially if you’re young – real love can means being grown up. You may be scared of losing your freedom, but if you weigh things up, isn’t it worth it?
* Love stirs up your weaknesses. Strong emotions such as jealousy can take you by surprise. Intimacy with another person shows up your little faults and foibles. This is where loving yourself comes in. You’re a nice enough person for your imperfections not to matter, in the scheme of things.
Love makes you live longer, eases stress and anxiety and boosts your health. Those loving hormones have wonderful, healing powers within your body. Love brings joy, fun and reassurance – it can raise your self-esteem and enable you to see yourself in a positive light. We all know love makes the world go round, so welcome it into your life and be determined to make it work.
If your fears about love are very deep you need to talk to someone sympathetic, in order to move on. That’s where we come in! Dating advice and relationship advice are available with a few clicks, when you contact us at The Circle. Find clarity with your love and relationship issues, get your relationship horoscope or benefit from psychic insight. There’s no need to cope with your anxieties alone – put in a call today.
PUBLISHED: 9 June 2015