Kiss And Make Up Day August 25th

 

Is there really any point harbouring resentment? Wouldn’t it be better for everyone if you let bygones be bygones and heal any rifts you have with others?

 


 

DISAGREEMENTS ARE PART OF LIFE

 
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we all just saw eye to eye and didn’t fight or argue? Wouldn’t it be great if no-one ever lost their temper or did something damaging to another person? Maybe as the centuries roll by our civilization will grow to become like the mythical Golden Age, where everyone is kind and enlightened.  
 
For now we’re stuck with a very flawed planet, however. What can you do to spread healing? One simple but often very difficult thing is to kiss and make up with anyone with whom you’ve fallen out. If you forgive and forget, you will at least stop being part of the world’s problems. Instead you’ll be part of the solution, and you’ll rack up some good karma, too!
 

WHY NOT KISS AND MAKE UP?

 
Of course it’s not easy just to move on from any hurts you’ve received, but have you realised that resentment can be enjoyable – and even addictive? Going over and over the hurts you’ve been given can fill you with righteous indignation. Even though you may be genuinely wounded, it’s pleasant to be ‘in the right.’
 
You may also subconsciously be relishing your moral superiority. You wouldn’t ever do a thing like that you tell yourself, while you dwell on the shoddy treatment you’ve received. The more you think about it the more indignant you may become and the more saintly you may think you are. But how happy does it really make you, sitting in your ivory tower, polishing your halo?
 

THE BALM OF FORGIVENESS

 
The problem with ‘forgiveness’ can be that it’s preached at us as something we should do because some deity has said we must. On top of the fact that you’ve been hurt, you’re then loaded with the burden of having to swallow down your anger and outrage and be loving towards the wretch who injured you. No wonder that so many people turn their back on forgiveness and decide instead to hate, resent and even plan revenge. That’s understandable, but unproductive. It’s also damaging to you. 
 
Forgiving is in fact a massive gift you give yourself. With it comes a feeling of lightness and freedom. It brings the realization that there is so much to enjoy and live for on the other side of this sorry event. Why not let yourself off the hook?
 
When we have been treated badly somewhere deep inside we may believe that harbouring resentment can in some way ‘get back’ at the wrong-doer. But if you think about it, that’s nonsense. Your bitterness doesn’t affect them, but it does affect you.
 
Live well is the best revenge, but, in a contradictory way, it’s a pay-back you can only really have if you’re not bothered about it. Think about your offence as a burden you can do without, and put it down. Try to understand that the person who hurt you probably did this because they are themselves wounded in some way. Imagine them happy, contented, calm, healed and harmless. If possible send them love, because you’re then loving yourself.
 

APOLOGISE

 
If you’ve fallen out with someone, look honestly at what you’ve done. Are you really blameless? Have you been part of the problem, in however small a way?
 
If you’re too proud to apologise then your pride is misplaced.  Saying ‘sorry’ takes guts and an adult attitude. If you have the dignity and grace to apologise then you truly have something to be proud of.
 

WHAT IF THE OTHER PARTY WON’T KISS AND MAKE UP?

 
Does it take two to kiss and make up? Yes – and in another way, no. If the other person won’t take that step it’s a pity, but when all’s said and done it’s their loss.
 
Try not to judge or feel angry. Of course it’s understandable to feel let down if you’ve made the big gesture and are hoping for a reconciliation. But their refusal can’t take away the importance of your action. Imagine that they are coming round and you’re reconciled, and keep imagining this. Try to send them love and hope they come round in the end.
 

IF YOU’RE PART OF A COUPLE

 
All couples have disagreements, but dwelling on these doesn’t help. If you’re currently ‘in a mood’ with your partner, how important are the issues in the grand scheme of things?
 
Ask yourself if you really love this person. Is what they’ve done really a ‘deal breaker’ or is it more of an annoyance? Do the good things about the relationship outweigh the bad? Wouldn’t it feel much better to put your arms around each other and enjoy the closeness?
 
Kissing and making up is a positive act that enriches both parties and generally makes the world a better place. Do everyone a favour on August 25th. Stand down, pucker up and snuggle together.
 

HOW WE CAN HELP

 

We’ve looked at the importance of forgiveness, apology, what to do if the other person won’t co-operate and what attitude to take if you’re part of a disagreeing couple. If you’re having trouble with forgiving and you’re struggling to move on from some hurtful action, maybe you need extra support and insight. Our wise Readers can help, enabling you to heal inside and move on. So, on Kiss and Make Up Day, why not do something fabulous for yourself? Put in a call to our Readers and open up to a world of love and peace.

 

PUBLISHED: 14 August 2017

 
 

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