JEALOUSY IS DAMAGING
Jealousy is one of the most destructive emotions within a relationship. Jealousy eats away at self-esteem and feeds on itself – because the worse a person feels about themselves the more they doubt that their partner could love them and be faithful to them. And the more they are convinced their partner is interested in other people, the less worthwhile they feel – and so the downward spiral goes.
A JEALOUS PARTNER WEARS YOU DOWN
If your partner is jealous, at first you may be sorry for them and you may do your utmost to reassure them. But as time goes by this can become more difficult. Eventually, you could even be pushed into the very thing your partner fears, because you feel so frustrated and misunderstood. Living with suspicion is a real drag, and can damage your confidence, too. Why can’t you be trusted? Are you doing something wrong? Is it fair that you have to cope with this? Try these basic tips to help you through.
- REALISE THAT THE PROBLEM IS YOUR PARTNER’S - Your partner is being unreasonable, and while you love them and want to help them, there is a limit to what you can do. Just like an alcoholic, your partner can only be helped if they are prepared to face the fact they have a problem. This will be hard for them to do when they are in the grip of their negative beliefs. However, if you can get them to see the truth in a good moment, hopefully they can commit to working on themselves
- REFUSE TO PANDER TO THEIR JEALOUSY - Your partner’s jealousy is not a result of what you have done, and nothing you do can take it away. It isn’t fair if you have to spend half the night on the phone to them, when you’re out with mates, just to convince them you aren’t being unfaithful. Be kind but firm and make sure that you carry on enjoying life, so you don’t become resentful
- ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH - Perhaps you want to go for a drink with workmates before going home but you know that’s going to push all the buttons for your partner. So you decide to tell a fib – to say there was a traffic jam, or you had to work late. Bad move! If your partner finds out that you’ve lied (and they probably will, because jealous people often check up) then it will make matters far worse. However hard it may be and however much trouble it causes, remember that honesty is the best policy.
- ASK YOUR PARTNER TO IMAGINE HOW THEY WOULD FEEL IN YOUR SHOES - Sit your partner down and get them to imagine – really imagine – how it feels to be in your shoes. To be mistrusted and questioned, maybe to have your phone and pockets inspected. Once they realise what they are putting you through it can bring them out of that negative bubble.
- APPEAL TO COMMON SENSE - Try to get your partner to engage their logical brain. Why would you be with them if you didn’t want to be? What do they hope to achieve by their jealousy? However your partner questions you or tries to monitor your behavior, they can never see into your heart or control the outcome of the relationship. Much better to save their energy and concentrate on the positive.
- ENCOURAGE THEM TO GET HELP - Extreme jealousy amounts to paranoia, which is a mental disturbance. Your partner needs help – this can be too much for you to cope with alone. Get in contact with one of our experienced Readers at TheCircle to start your healing journey without delay
Sometimes however hard you try, helping the one you love seems very difficult. That’s when you owe it to yourself to get support. Dating Advice and Relationship Advice are available with a few clicks, when you contact us at TheCircle. Find clarity with your Love Issues, get your Relationship Horoscope or benefit from Psychic Insight from our expert Readers. There’s no need to cope with your worries alone – put in a call today
PUBLISHED: 17 AUGUST 2015