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Healthy Self Love

For many years you may have thought you should put other people before yourself and not be ‘selfish’. But these days the idea that self-love is healthy is growing in popularity. During this season of love, find out how to treat yourself as the best thing that ever happened to you, and boost your self-esteem.

Learn about:
  • The importance of self-love
  • Make time for yourself
  • Forgive yourself
  • Do more of what you love
  • Be mindful and appreciate the present


Perhaps a better question might be ‘Why would self-love not be important? How could there possibly be any logic to the idea that you must always put other people before yourself? In fact, how could you function in life if you always thought like that? After all, whatever you do in life, you are the instrument that does it. You are your own most precious possession.
Loving yourself may fill you with guilt and you may think it’s selfish – but you can be ‘selfish’ in a good way. There are several reasons for adoring Number One;
  • Unless you love yourself it’s very hard to get anyone else to love you. If you don’t have that self-worth feeling then it makes you vulnerable. You can come across as needy and weak. People realise that you are not so much interested in them as in having them feed your self-esteem. Not a good look! If you don’t love yourself, isn’t it an insult to anyone you care for to expect them to love you?
  • When you love yourself you pour out love and joy to the world. What seems like a selfish attitude is actually very generous – it makes life good for everyone you meet
  • Loving yourself takes the strain out of relationships. It’s very freeing. It means the other person is less responsible for you and you can enjoy life together
  • When you love yourself you give to others from an overflowing and joyful heart. No-one feels obligated, each person is enriched
  • Truly loving yourself makes you happier. We all want to be happy, and this is part of the answer


Maybe you often run yourself down, and this may be partly to encourage others to compliment you. You don’t want to be big-headed, and you may be afraid that if you are, something will take you down a peg. But having a good opinion of yourself doesn’t mean you put anyone else down. In any case, no-one needs to know about the compliments you pay yourself.
Always pay sincere compliments. When you make a success of something, tell yourself you did well. If you look nice give yourself credit and don’t look for faults. Have a Compliments Book in which you record the nice things you say to yourself and also those other people have given you. Even write a ‘thank you’ note to yourself. Well done!


Always dashing around to look after your friends and family or to satisfy work commitments? You deserve some time out. Treat yourself to half an hour with your feet up, or to a massage or spa day, or retail therapy with friends. Maybe you long for some time to listen to your favourite music. You can give this to yourself – do it!


Did you say and do things in the past that you now regret? Maybe you come over all hot thinking about something silly you did years ago. Stop it! If a friend had done these things by now you would have long since forgiven and forgotten. Be a friend to yourself now. You’re only human so give yourself some understanding and let it all go.


Are there some activities that you really enjoy, but never have time and/or money for? You can change that. Do what you love to do and get truly absorbed in it. You will forget the wider world and any problems you have, and feel totally in harmony with yourself. Why not?


Bring your awareness into the present moment and love that too! A gorgeous flower, a splendid sunset, the feel of the wind on your face, the scent of perfume, the sound of birdsong… These everyday gifts are yours for the taking. Give yourself the ‘precious present’ and you’ll feel enriched.



Now you know why self-love is important and you can foster it by paying yourself compliments, making time for yourself, forgiving yourself, doing more of what you love, and being mindful so you appreciate the present. There are many things you can do to help you love yourself and get that feeling of warmth and confidence. However, you may have had bad experiences and these may have lowered your self-esteem so self-love feels almost impossible. That’s where our well-trained and understanding readers come into their own. They can make you see yourself in a much better light so put in a call today and be encouraged.


PUBLISHED: 18 March 2018

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