Romance and excitement are in the air and the shops are filled with hearts and flowers. It’s good to dream but a wonderful Valentine’s Day doesn’t just happen. Follow our top tips to make yours a Valentine’s Day to remember.
Here we look at:
- The origins of Valentine’s Day
- Exploring different alternatives
ORIGINS OF VALENTINE’S DAY
The tradition of Valentine’s Day may have originated from the martyred St Valentine, who wrote messages of love to his sweetheart on the walls of the cell where he waited for death as a condemned man. But there are other tragedy-free reasons to link this time of year with romance.
February 15th was the Roman feast of Lupercalia – a riotous time when the priests of the god Pan ran through the streets striking people with goatskin thongs. This was believed to be especially good for fertility, and Pan was, of course, the deity of primitive Nature. Add to this the fact that the birds are starting to sing and choose their mates for the coming season, and you have a sexy vibe in the air!
The days are getting lighter too, and it’s a great idea to have something to celebrate. Valentine’s Day is almost the start of Spring, and you can make it fun.
*TIP 1 - BE REALISTIC
This may not sound like very inspiring advice to start off with, but actually it’s vitally important. If you have impossible expectations then you are bound to be disappointed. On the other hand, if you are sensible, yet positive, things may turn out better than you imagine.
Remember that your partner is the same person all year round – he or she is not going to turn into a film star and life isn’t going to become a fairy tale just because of the date. If your dear one isn’t very romantic they are unlikely to turn on the charm and shower you with extravagant love-tokens. In fact they may well forget it’s Valentine’s Day, accidentally or on purpose! There are ways round that (see below) but you may have to do the initiating.
If you are on your own and you hope for a bouquet from a mysterious someone or a pile of anonymous cards on your mat, again you may be disappointed. But if you receive nothing it doesn’t mean no-one cares. It means that for one reason or another your admirer/s did not send valentines. End of.
Whatever your situation, don’t ruin Valentine’s Day by expecting too much. It’s just one day, after all.
*TIP 2 – PLAN YOUR DAY
You may not need to do this if you know your dear one has booked dinner-and-dance at a posh restaurant, but if not, do put something in place. If you can’t afford much just a nice evening at home with candles and your favourite meal can be lovely, and is a fitting way to mark your love for each other.
If you’re alone and don’t like that fact, you definitely need to plan your evening! Maybe you can spend time pampering yourself, or out with other single friends. Don’t leave it to chance. You can have a good time whatever your circumstances.
*TIP 3 – SAY WHAT YOU WANT
Wouldn’t it be lovely if your lover could read your mind! Most of us dream of a soul-mate who fulfils our needs instinctively, without needing to be told. But misunderstandings happen in every couple – even between true soul-mates.
Don’t risk disappointment by assuming your lover will pick up the hints you drop or know you well enough to fulfil your fantasies automatically. It’s so easy for any of us to get things wrong. If there’s something you’d really like, to make your Valentine’s Day special, then say so.
*TIP 4 – LOVE YOURSELF
Any issue in relationships feels better and falls into place if you love yourself. Whatever you plan or do on the day, make sure it is about your self-respect and self-value. How anyone else behaves towards you must not have a deep effect on the way you think about yourself.
The most important part of Valentine’s Day is telling yourself that you are worthwhile and lovable. If you find that hard then make this special day the start of your quest for self-esteem.
*TIP 5 – EXPRESS YOUR LOVE
On Valentine’s Day there may be several things you hope for, and that’s natural. You may not be able to manage all of them, but what you can control are your own actions.
Thank carefully about what your dear one would like. How can you show them you appreciate them? How can you make a day and an evening that has that extra special twist? What can you say to convey the way you feel and how grateful you are to have them in your life? Make your lover happy and you will feel good yourself.
*TIP 6 – THERE ARE LOTS OF WAYS TO ENJOY YOURSELF
Today is to be enjoyed together in whatever way you like. Have a walk together, see a film, book a massage (or massage each other), read to each other, dance, make jokes, have a night in promising to pleasure each other as much as you can, make plans for your future, see friends….The choice is endless.
Even if you have little patience with the sentimentality of the date, it serves as a reminder to look at your relationship, to celebrate it and enjoy time together. Be honest with each other about your preferences. The one requirement is that you spend time together. After that, anything goes.
*TIP 7 – HAVE A LAUGH
It’s well-known that Christmas and holidays can be hard times for couples, because of tension and high expectations. Valentine’s Day may be like that, but don’t let it. Keep your sense of humour. If things go a bit wrong and if there are misunderstandings, why make a big deal of it? If you can have a laugh together then it will be a good Valentine’s Day, whatever.
HOW WE CAN HELP
We’ve looked at the origins of Valentine’s Day and seven ways you can make this day enjoyable. These include being realistic, planning, saying what you want, loving yourself, expressing your love, exploring lots of different things to do and keeping your sense of humour. These ideas can help you have a great day, but sometimes relationship problems can be overwhelming and you need more support. Luckily this is always available with our team of sympathetic and sensible Readers, so give yourself the best Valentine present possible by putting in a call without delay.
PUBLISHED: 05 February 2018