As the darker nights draw in, warm your heart by rekindling the chemistry between you and your dearest.
- Imagine how it would be without your lover
- Put your partnership first
ARE YOU DRIFTING APART?
Your relationship may be very important to you, but are you taking it for granted? That familiar person who is there all the time should be your best friend and the one you admire, with all their strengths and foibles. As time goes by, work and other commitments can take your attention away from your relationship, until it’s just one of those things in your life. If that’s happening you need to stop the drift before it becomes a chasm and recreate the closeness you once had.
IMAGINE HOW LIFE WOULD BE WITHOUT YOUR LOVED ONE
In order to kick-start the revitalization of your partnership, just take a moment or two to imagine what life would be like without your lover. Think about getting up in the morning, going to bed at night, talking and sharing when you both come in, making meals, watching telly and that all-important matter of having someone there when you feel down and anxious. Then think about what it would be like without this, day after day, empty and alone. Now feel relieved that it isn’t like that. You have a partner, and you’re going to enjoy the fact.
PUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP FIRST
Your partner is just there, in the background of your life, and probably you all too often put them last. Instead of catching up about your day you’re looking at your phone. Getting the jobs done and dashing off for work or other engagements seems more pressing than lingering for a kiss. The demands of friends and family seem more important than the needs of your partner – you just expect them to understand and fit in.
But if you want your relationship to have that extra something, you have to put something extra in. That means time and effort. It doesn’t take much time or much effort, but there has to be some. In our busy lives it may make your heart sink to think of another drain on your energy, but giving your partnership some attention will pay you back ten fold.
So have some time for just the two of you and treat that as sacred. Always talk at the end of the day. Always kiss when going or arriving. Save some energy so you’re not too tired to make love, because the intimacy will bind you closer.
SHARE YOUR SPIRITUALITY
Sharing spirituality doesn’t mean that you have to believe exactly the same, or even that you have to have a definite idea about the spirit world. But it does mean accepting together that there is more to life than the daily grind. There is a meaning to it and a wider context. If you aren’t sure what you believe, you could explore together.
Spirituality doesn’t necessarily mean faith. If you meditate as a couple or practice mindfulness you are doing something ‘spiritual’ rather than adopting a belief. If you meditate together you can share your experiences and bond at a higher level. This will uplift you both and make your partnership very strong.
Of course you care about your partner. Their well-being is top of your list of priorities, and you truly love them – when you think about it. You assume your partner realizes this and so you may not bother to show it. But isn’t that a shame?
If you show your partner that you’re really thinking about them, that their comfort is your priority and that you truly love them you’ll create a warm glow around your partnership. Buy them little treats and gifts, leave little notes in their lunch-box to say you’re crazy about them, organize outings to places they want to go and show you remember the little things they’ve said.
It doesn’t take much effort to bear your partner in mind and show it in hundreds of tiny ways. Get in the habit and soon it will be second nature.
Some people are afraid to show appreciation because they fear it shows weakness, or ‘soppiness’. Actually it’s a sign of strength and generosity of spirit to show gratitude and admiration. Isn’t it right that you should be your lover’s number one fan?
So pay them sincere compliments whenever you can. If they make you a cup of tea, make it clear you’re loving it. If they look great in what they’re wearing, say so. And if they’re turning you on, let them know that, too. If you boost your partner they will feel good, and that ‘feel-good factor’ will spill over into the relationship and over you, too!
HOW WE CAN HELP
By now you will probably have asked yourself if you’re drifting apart from your partner. You have five approaches to get the romance back between you – why not try all of them? They include imagining being without your lover, putting your relationship first, sharing spirituality, being thoughtful and appreciative. Follow these hints and your partnership should improve. And for some more in depth relationship advice, put in a call to our team of worldly-wise Readers who will give you guidance to make your relationship fulfilling.
PUBLISHED: 20 September 2017