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When Your Partner Has a Fear of Intimacy


What is fear of intimacy and why is it is so common? Understanding how a fear of intimacy can affect relationships, the symptoms and how to overcome fear of intimacy.


Sadly, a fear of intimacy is one of the most common contributions towards failing marriages. What is fear of intimacy? It creates a whole host of issues, not only for the sufferer but also for their partner. Not only does it limit the ability of people to be emotionally and sexually intimate, but it can also reflect in how partners communicate because the victim is anxious about conveying their true feelings and thoughts. Fear of intimacy seems to be more common amongst women and there are many reasons as to why it occurs.
Fear of intimacy is often the result of something that has happened in the person’s life…




Fear of intimacy is an anxiety disorder, an emotional detachment and possibly a learned behaviour that becomes an obstacle in being able to form a normal, loving relationship. It creates an array of underlying issues for the sufferer, resulting in them feeling isolated, lonely and disconnected from others in their life, people of who they should be close to. Fear of intimacy is often the result of something that has happened in the person’s life, a possible traumatic event in childhood, a past relationship, or growing up feeling unloved. It can have a mild impact on a person, such as not being able to speak openly about their emotions, or a complete inability to be able to be physically close to someone.





There are many reasons as to why someone may have fear of intimacy symptoms. Understanding these reasons may guide you to be able to help them:

CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCE – Have they grown up with a parent who did not show love and affection to them? We learn ‘relationship behaviour’ in our childhood, so if they felt no love or could not trust a parent, the sufferer will need to learn how to trust, how to give affection and how to accept it.

ABUSE EXPERIENCE – Have they suffered mental, physical or sexual abuse in past relationships or childhood? Survivors from abuse tend to find it difficult to trust, be intimate or depend upon their partners. It is important to seek professional help from counsellors who are experts in this area.

FEAR OF REJECTION – Some people have a fear of intimacy because they fear rejection from their partner. It’s likely that this comes from past experience where they have faced and suffered rejection, they would rather avoid risking rejection than becoming involved.

SELF-ESTEEM & WORTHLESSNESS – Often from past experiences where they have not felt good enough, been intimidated, humiliated or rejected, so their self-worth and self-esteem is very low. They may feel worthy of a close love or bond and will avoid it.

Fear of intimacy symptoms range from extreme independence, failure to commit to long-lasting relationships and low self-esteem…




Having a fear of intimacy creates obstacles in life, not only resulting in detached love relationships, but also affecting friendships. Fear of intimacy symptoms range from extreme independence, failure to commit to long-lasting relationships, low self-esteem, fear of feeling controlled or dominated, high feelings of anxiety, loneliness, isolation, avoiding loving or sexual time together, feeling insecure, struggling to maintain relationships or friendships and social phobia. It is more often than not a learned behaviour from a life experience and consequently teaches the sufferer to be independent and cautious.





Fear of intimacy creates a constant inner conflict for the sufferer. In one aspect they want to find dependable lasting love, on the other hand they fear rejection, abandonment and cannot trust anyone. Learning how to overcome fear of intimacy can be difficult, but it is possible. It is important to get to the root of the problem, to find the emotional or traumatic event that happened, causing this spiralling anxiety for the victim. Emotional experiences in life can affect us forever if we let them, or we can choose to do our best to work through it to eventually overcome it.





Do you need caring guidance? Focus on your future and speak to the most compassionate team of psychics in the UK at TheCircle. Professional counselling services also specialise in difficult experiences. They are trained experts and know how to help people to improve their life. It may feel like an uphill struggle and there may be memories which you do not want to face, but when you are eventually in a happy, loving and intimate relationship in the future, it will all be worth it.




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When Your Partner Has a Fear of Intimacy


PUBLISHED: 23 May 2016

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