Whether you get on with your own father or not, the idea of fatherhood, and the role of a father is very important in the life of each of us. On Fathers Day you have the chance to think about what this means to you.
HONOURING THE FATHERS
Fathers Day as we know it began on July 5th, 1908 in West Virginia, in honour of the 210 miners who had died in a mining disaster. Most countries still celebrate this, close to the Midsummer Solstice. This feels right because it recalls much older rituals linked to the Sun, and father-gods.
CELEBRATE FATHERS DAY
• If you don’t have a dad, or don’t get on with him, celebrate by going out into the sun, which was believed to be the father of all life.
• If you have a loving Dad, don’t miss this chance to make him feel special. Even if he doesn’t show it, he will be delighted.
• Buy something gold and bright, to link with the light of the sun – for instance a gold scarf.
• Give to a children’s charity, for many children do not have their own father.
• List all that you have achieved in life and bind it into a scroll with gold ribbon. Light a gold candle and congratulate yourself as a father would.
• Do a good deed for any person or organisation who has been like a father to you.
HEALING YOUR FAMILY TREE
Some fathers have been absent, uncaring or bullying, but whatever your experience, there are things that you can do to bring positive masculine energy into your life. There are no ‘shoulds’ here – forgiveness is something you do for yourself, not someone else, and it only comes when you are inwardly ready. However, if you are able to understand the issues that are involved and send love, even of a general kind, it could help you heal. Here are some tips;
• Draw your family tree on a large sheet of paper – A3 is a good size. Find a photo of your father, step-father or grandfather that shows him in a good light. Stick this to his portion of the ‘tree’ and write some positive things under it, if you can do this sincerely. Attach pics of other family members and, on the connecting branches of the ‘tree’ write how you think these people affected him, and what he was able to give. Put a picture of yourself at the top of the tree.
• Make a list of the good things you had from your father, even if there are only a few, or it was something his poor treatment caused, such as strength and toughness. Write these on the tree if you like.
• Think about all the good qualities a father should have, ideally. How can you bring more of this into your life?
• If you feel angry or sad, find a black stone, hold it in your palm and pour all of those unpleasant emotions into the stone. Go into a deserted place, on Father’s Day, and fling the stone as far away from you as you can. This should help you to feel more free.
POSITIVE FATHER VISUALISATION
You can become a child, inwardly, and conjure some joyful experiences. See yourself as an infant, sitting on a beach. The waves roll in the distance, and you are happily playing with the sand, letting the grains run through your fingers. Hold this image for a while. How do you feel/ what do you want/expect? A man is coming towards you, smiling warmly, holding out his arms. He sits down next to you, radiating love and kindness. Does he play with you? Carry you up on his shoulders? Give you food, cuddles, a toy? Really be there for a while, savour having your needs met. When you are ready, say goodbye and thank you. Come back to everyday awareness and make a note of your experiences, thinking about why you had them and why you wanted them. Did you get all you wanted? If not, why not? You can journey to meet this man time and again, and ask him questions if you like. You may get some interesting answers.
If you didn’t feel loved by your father it can affect your adult relationships, and you’ll need help. There is so much good advice on offer for you at TheCircle. If you want dating advice and relationship advice they are available with a few clicks, when you contact us. Find support with your love issues, get your relationship horoscope or benefit from psychic insight. There’s no need to struggle alone – put in a call today
PUBLISHED: 17 JUNE 2015