Communication is key – honest and direct communicating about your feelings, thoughts and fears is extremely important to keep a relationship strong on all levels.
Love is one of the most important aspects of our life. We all want to feel loved and to have that special someone who we can turn to when we need them. However, when things go wrong we can’t always identify what the exact issue is, and there often isn’t a particular reason for why a relationship is going through problems. Issues in relationships sometimes start because one or both parties are not communicating their feelings, thoughts and concerns or are simply not being open enough with the other person. Communication is key – honest and direct communicating about your feelings, thoughts and fears is extremely important to keep a relationship strong on all levels.
The first step is recognising that there is a problem and both of you need to do this.
So many of us can sense that something is not right, yet our busy lives can get in the way, when really we should be stopping and recognising that somewhere there is an issue. Discovering that you don’t feel comfortable being completely open with your partner can be worrying. Do not despair! Many relationships go through up’s and down’s and it doesn’t mean that you should part ways and move on. The first step is recognising that there is a problem and both of you need to do this. Communication breakdown can happen so gradually that often we don’t realise it until it becomes a major issue. We can blame one another for unacceptable or selfish behaviour but the real core is that at some point, you stopped communicating properly.
Relationships can so easily become a pattern of monotonous coexistence. You wake up, get ready for work, go to work, come home, have dinner and go to bed – and repeat. Life can feel boring yet comfortable and both of you will continue to stay well within your comfort zones which some are happy with, but some may eventually rebel without necessarily realising it. It is important not to over-analyse for fear of making things worse, but it is important to consider how you can make them better. Do not put all the blame on your partner - this is a two-person issue and both of you are responsible. Perhaps your partner has felt you have not been approachable to talk about his or her problems because you have either had your own stress or you appear to not want to listen or don’t have the time. Stop and recognise your reaction, response and behaviour towards your partner before you point the finger.
Giving each other uninterrupted time can be hard, especially if you have busy jobs and children.
It is really important to make sure that you have time together. Life can be so busy that we forget why we fell in love in the first place. Do you remember when you first met your partner and the early courting days? We reminisce about those days but never think that we can recreate those special times. Giving each other uninterrupted time can be hard, especially if you have busy jobs and children. Making time for each other could reignite any relationship and bring back a spark that may have long been forgotten.
Learning to communicate again does not happen magically, it is a process of building up trust, it’s changing old habits – but it will completely change your relationship giving it solid foundations, trust and respect for each other.
It sounds simple but it’s not. Learning to communicate properly with each other can be a step by step lesson and often one step forward, two steps back. Communicating properly means that you have to 100% trust the other person in that they won’t judge you and will listen. Offering advice is good, as long as you don’t convey it as if you’re sitting high and mighty on your horse – you need to be on the same level. Starting a conversation in a calm way with ‘I need to talk to you about something that’s on my mind. I feel…’ is non-confrontational and shows the other person that you need them to listen and need their support. Starting a conversation with ‘I’m really not happy so we need to talk..’ will immediately put the other person on defence. Think about the words you use, your tone of voice and your body language. Learning to communicate again does not happen magically, it is a process of building up trust, it’s changing old habits – but it will completely change your relationship giving it solid foundations, trust and respect for each other.
PUBLISHED: 16 Feburary 2016