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Co-Parenting With Your Ex

 

What is co-parenting, how to leave the breakdown of your personal relationship behind and create a mutual platform to support and nourish your children as they grow.

 


When you had children, you expected to be together forever, raising your family in the safe and secure home that you had created for them. You dreamed of family picnics, fun at the seaside, a lasting relationship and giving your children a strong, solid upbringing that they deserved. But what happens when your partnership falls apart and you find yourself a single parent that is co-parenting with your ex? It is something which we do not expect to happen and depending on how your relationship ended, divorce and children can be a very difficult situation. So, what is co-parenting? Co-parenting is when two parents work together to raise their children when they have divorced or separated. The co-parenting definition sounds very simple, and if your relationship with your ex is on good terms, then you will be able to communicate and agree on everything fairly easily. But what happens if you find co-parenting very difficult?

Divorced parents may be at loggerheads and agreeing on even the simplest of things may always be a battle…

 

 

WHEN CO-PARENTING IS TRICKY

 

 

Your common interest is your child or your children. You both want the best for them and want to encourage them to grow in to strong, independent adults with your guidance. So what happens when your opinions on raising your children are different? A difference of opinion can make co-parenting hard - divorced parents may be at loggerheads and agreeing on even the simplest of things may always be a battle. The negative effects of divorce on children can be long-lasting and for them to see their parents argue (even though they are living apart) can be somewhat distressing. If your ex is just being difficult to get at you it can feel like a never-ending fight that effects your parenting, your emotions and your life. The co-parenting definition sounds like a seamless and peaceful term to encourage divorced parents to work together to bring up their children, yet for many it is actually a challenging situation.

Everything from their past relationship must be put aside…
 

 

CO-PARENTING TIPS FOR DIVORCED PARENTS

 

 

What is co-parenting and how can you make it work? It’s important for both parents to understand that everything from their past relationship must be put aside to create as solid a family unit as you can, to help your children feel secure. The effects of divorce on children can be devastating - or on the contrary, to some children it may be a sigh of relief. Most children would eventually prefer parents who fight, to live apart in a peaceful environment so that they are not growing up in a tense and fraught household. Understanding how divorce and children can work in harmony can be achieved if emotions, resentment and the past can be put aside.

 

 

THE DO’S AND DON’TS OF CO-PARENTING WITH YOUR EX

 
  • DO COMMUNICATE – always try and communicate with your ex about your children, whether it’s through phonecalls, meetings, texts or email. It is important to work from the same page.
  • DO BE POSITIVE - Agree with your ex that you will only speak positively about each other to the children.
  • DO HAVE RULES – Rules in separate households should be the same for your children. It is important for both of you to be consistent with your parenting so that it does not confuse the children.
  • DO AGREE ON BOUNDARIES – As children grow up they want to be independent and will naturally push boundaries. Agree with your ex on what is acceptable for the child’s age and what is not. Co-parenting on the same level will increase your child’s stability and wellbeing.
  • DON’T OVERINDULGE – Do not treat your child differently because you want them to favour you over your ex. Children need to do normal, everyday things with their parents. Always buying your child presents or giving them an unbalanced diet will only cause problems for them in the long-run and also with your ex.
  • DON’T OVERBURDEN YOUR CHILD – Divorced parents can have a tendency to talk too openly to their child about their emotions from the breakup of their relationship. Do not intentionally sabotage your child’s thoughts and their relationship with your ex.
  • DON’T INVOLVE CHILDREN IN DISAGREEMENTS – Co-parenting tips always strongly emphasise that you should keep all disagreements from your child. Sometimes this can be difficult, but do your best to not involve your children.
  • DON’T PUNISH – Divorced parents can often try and punish their ex by not letting them see or speak to their child. The effects of divorce on children can be catastrophic and every effort should be made to encourage a strong bond for both parents, regardless of what happened in their relationship.


Co-parenting counselling may seem like a drastic resort, but actually can be extremely helpful…

 

 

WHAT IS CO-PARENTING COUNSELLING?

 

 

Co-parenting with your ex is not often a walk in the park. Divorced parents have to learn a new method of communication, almost creating a brand new working relationship to support their growing children. When the relationship has been severely damaged, it can be incredibly hard to communicate on any level. Co-parenting counselling may seem like a drastic resort, but actually can be extremely helpful. When parents’ divorce or separate, they end their personal relationship as partners and continue their relationships as parents, but it can be difficult keeping personal issues separate from parenting. Co-parenting counselling enables both parents to talk and communicate about their children, both giving opinions and thoughts about the best interests of bringing up their children. It allows divorced parents to find a mutual solution to any disagreements or concerns, and may also help to heal any anger or grief from their relationship.

 

 

HOW WE CAN HELP

 

Do you struggle in co-parenting with your ex or feel that they are not working with you in the best interest of your children? Your past relationship may still be effecting your current co-parenting skills. Our psychics, clairvoyants and Tarot readers at TheCircle have years’ of experience in readings on co-parenting, families and children. Let us guide you to a more solid future for your family.

 

 

FIND MORE ARTICLES ABOUT FAMILY AND RELATIONSHIP

Co-Parenting With Your Ex
Common Family Problems & When Family Fall Out

 

PUBLISHED: 21 April 2016

 
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