If you have a holiday to look forward to with your lover you’ll probably be expecting it to bring you closer and to be able to enjoy a relaxing time where you benefit from all the good things in your relationship.
Of course that often happens, but don’t take it for granted. Holidays, like Christmas, can provide flashpoints. Expectations run high which can set you up for disappointment. Being closer can emphasise differences and give you more opportunity to argue. Plus unpredictable factors can throw you off balance.
However, there’s no need to worry. With a little forethought you can have the best holiday ever. Just follow our six pointers and relax!
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- Trying something different
Many of us would like to be something that we aren’t and to change aspects of ourselves that we think are boring and unattractive. Your holiday may seem like the perfect opportunity to explore those unawakened parts of yourself. You might also be hoping to impress your loved one with your adaptability and even your courage!
In some ways that’s great. Holidays are all about doing something different, but it’s very important not to force the issue, or to commit yourself to doing something you really hate. If your lover wants to do something that doesn’t appeal to you but you feel you should do it, you could be condemning yourself to an unpleasant time and that won’t do your relationship any good at all. In fact you may end up in a bad place, blaming your partner!
The keynote here is to accept yourself and respect yourself first. In other words, come from a place of self-esteem rather than a desperation to please. Then you’ll be in a good position to come out of your comfort zone, if you choose.
Spontaneity might sound cool, but it’s over-rated! If you get to your holiday tired and stressed it will take a while to unwind and you could slide into ten days of being couch potatoes. Of course, you need a rest, but they say a change is as good as one!
If you plan in advance you’ll have activities sorted that will take you out of yourselves, and the holiday will be much more refreshing. For instance, having massages, saunas and similar together is deeply de-stressing and bonding but is much better than just sprawling. Make sure that most of what you plan pleases both of you, so it brings you closer together.
If you like different things you’ll need to compromise, to do things together. This is really worth doing because it makes your relationship an adventure in itself. Probably it’s the differences between you that made your relationship exciting in the beginning, and this should carry on – although see point 1 before committing. When you make your plans you must be fair about time and resources. Each of you should have the same ‘portion’ and all should be agreed between you so there’s no room for argument!
DO SOMETHING NEITHER OF YOU HAS DONE BEFORE
Adventure and surprise are stimulating – and that can be a big turn-on! Besides, seeing your loved one in unfamiliar situations can make you feel that the relationship is starting all over again. You’ll find new ways of relating as you discuss the fresh experiences and it will inject new life into your partnership.
MAKE TIME FOR ROMANCE
This may sound obvious, but if you’re holidaying with friends and family or you’ve signed up for something active and demanding, you might not have this. Your holiday should include several romantic dinner-dates, when you can spend time enjoying each other and making each other feel good. Don’t forget to dress up, compliment your lover and make it really special.
LAUGH, LAUGH, LAUGH
Ordinary life can grind away your sense of humour and make you too serious. Laughing has a wonderful ability to restore perspective and you’ll realise it’s not too bad. It’s also an amazing aphrodisiac! Make sure you spend times having a good giggle together. This could mean watching comedy films and shows or playing games that you know will make you fall about. Shared fun will warm your hearts.
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PUBLISHED: 04 July 2018