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True Love

‘True love’ is what the songs and stories are about. Around Valentine’s Day many people think about true love. If you don’t have it you may dream of it, and long for it. But what is true love? And if it exists, how can you find it?

Here we look at:
  • Does true love exist?
  • What it is not
  • What it is
  • How you can find it
  • What to do when you succeed.


True love is an idea, an ideal, something that inspires art and legend. But does it really exist?
True love is like so many things – subjective. There is no one type of true love. There may be as many types as there are people. It is very hard to recognise true love from the outside, but when you have it, sooner or later you know.
There is no doubt that some people have a special connection that goes beyond the idea of ‘soul mates’. In fact you can meet several soul mates during the course of a lifetime. These relationships may be highly charged. You have met each other in order to develop and learn, but the path may not be easy and you may not necessarily stay together.
True love is more akin to the concept of ‘twin flame’, where you both seem to arise from the same source, like two flames burning from the same log. There is a feeling of compelling closeness and ‘rightness’. However, you may not recognise your twin flame or your true love as soon as you meet them – especially if you have strong pre-conceived ideas about what your partner ‘should’ be like.
True love does not always start with a bang. And the path isn’t always smooth. But soon you know that you are with someone very, very special.


There are many assumptions and myths about true love. It could be helpful to see, first of all, what true love isn’t.
  • It isn’t about having a partner who looks like a film star, or someone you can boast about on social media
  • It’s not about never having problems again in life
  • It’s not wall-to-wall bliss, walking on air for ever and ever
  • It’s not something totally effortless, that just arrives out of the blue
  • It’s not about putting up with mistreatment because you are convinced this is ‘The One’. Your true love will not intentionally hurt you
  • It’s definitely not never having to say you’re sorry, as it says in the film ‘Love Story’!


It is complete trust and devotion. It’s also about having a shared purpose or purposes in life. True love is about deep respect and compelling attraction. It has a special chemistry, so you resonate and respond to that person at an instinctual level. It’s caring about another human being as much, or more, than yourself. It’s feeling that you have at least ‘come home’ and are yet in the middle of a storm.
True love is a wonderful feeling, but it does require effort. Just because someone is your true love does not mean they never say or do the wrong thing, are unreasonable or annoying. True love means you work things out, that you compromise and accept that no-one is perfect, even your wonderful lover. True love really shows itself when the first excitement of the relationship is past and you get to know each other’s weaknesses.
If you meet your true love, the chances are that you will stay together for the rest of your lives. However, this dos not mean that every couple making it to their diamond Wedding Anniversary found ‘true love’. People can have many reasons for not moving on, but when you’ve found true love you never want to go anywhere else.


True love isn’t really something you can go out and find. Many people go through their lives without ‘true love’ although they can be happy and may form fulfilling relationships. However, you can make sure that you are the kind of person who is capable of true love, and provide fertile soil for it to take root, if it comes your way.
Start by being the sort of person you respect – genuine and true to yourself. Have an open mind, and a gentle, loving outlook. Take care of yourself, recognise the good things about yourself, develop them and love yourself. Pursue your own interests and engage vibrantly with life. By all means look for a relationship and become involved – it may be a mistake to hold out for ‘true love’. For one thing you may not recognise it at first and for another it is best not to put your life on hold.


This isn’t always comfortable at first. You may be in a situation that makes it awkward. You may even be with someone else, with whom you’ve thought you were happy. But true love has a compelling quality and it’s hard to keep apart.
True love is certainly worth some sacrifice. When you know you’ve got it, nothing is quite as important, and although the going may be tough you get there together. You’ll also have fun, because true love is sharing laughter and light times too.



We’ve looked at whether true love exists, what it is not, what it is, how you can find it and what to do when you succeed. If you are lucky enough to find this you’ll be able to cope with lots of the difficulties life throws your way. Meanwhile you may need support and encouragement, and luckily that’s always at hand with our helpful Readers. If you find life without your true love a tad empty, fill your heart today with an encouraging reading and be in a better place to meet your heart’s desire.

PUBLISHED: 19 February 2018
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