Are you in a long term relationship and struggling to keep the love and passion with your partner alive? It’s very easy to take each other for granted if you have been together for a long time. Complacency can soon creep in if you’re not careful and that’s when problems and resentment can begin.
It may be that you’ve been using all your time and efforts on raising a family or working long hours leaving very little time for yourselves to spend time alone together. Many couples fall into this trap, but there are ways you can improve the situation and put some ‘zest’ back into your love life.
To start with, you really need to think about the people you and your partner were when you first met, who you are now and what first attracted you to each other. You might have both changed as you’ve got older and you’re not the same people anymore. Do you have the same interests? Other than sharing a home do you spend time together? Do you actually know each other today? You may find you will need to re-discover each other all over again, just like dating.
Follow The Circle’s guide below which will help you do just that:
Communicate – communication really is the key. Without it, it’s very easy to make incorrect assumptions about each other and misunderstand your partner’s actions. So talk to each other every day and when problems occur, or you are feeling taken for granted, tackle them straight away, don’t harbour bad feelings, which may be completely unfounded if you’ve misunderstood a situation . Make the time to discuss what’s important to you to keep your relationship alive, maybe once a week sit down and have an open honest discussion when you’re both feeling calm and can both express what you want and need.
Time together – spend quality time together, have regular date nights when you’re both relaxed and have some fun! Think about what attracted you to each other in the first place. Take a trip down memory lane and re-visit places that you both used to enjoy together. Spend a weekend away where the two of you can be alone in a romantic setting. Important: MAKE time together, life will always throw obstacles your way but you must both make the effort.
Demonstrate – show your partner on a regular basis how important they are to you, not just on special occasions. Even small gestures can be very powerful in keeping love alive, prepare a nice meal, take more responsibility around the house and do some chores that your partner would normally do, to allow them more leisure time. Be more tactile and give your partner a relaxing massage. Surprise your partner by arranging an unexpected evening or day out, to somewhere you know they would enjoy.
Relationship counsellor – Many couples use counsellors to help improve their relationships and it can be very helpful to speak to an impartial third party in a neutral environment where it’s not so easy to argue or be unreasonable. It can be a useful tool to help you resolve problems and have a time and place to discuss your relationship calmly with an expert.
Above all – be loving, caring and compassionate and understand each other’s needs to help keep your love alive now and forever.
Look out for our other love article during February
Week 4 Are you trapped in a bad relationship?
PUBLISHED: 29 January 2015