Are you in a relationship with the wrong sort of love? There can be many reasons why you’re not experiencing the joy and contentment that should come from a happy fulfilling relationship.
This could be for the following reasons:
- You didn’t marry for love, maybe you felt pressurised into marriage because of cultural beliefs or you were at a time in your life when you felt you needed to commit
- You’re at an age where you feel it’s too late to make a change as you might never meet someone else
- Your partner is abusive and you don’t know how to leave because you have children or you’re financially dependent on your partner
- Your partner doesn’t respect you and takes you for granted
- You care for your partner, but there’s no passion any more
- You’ve been with your partner for a long time and your relationship has become stale and too predictable
There are some tips below that can help you to either revive your current relationship or to move on to pastures new.
Married for the wrong reasons
- if you didn’t marry for love, you need to ask the question who is benefiting from the relationship? Maybe it was to please other family members or you let your head rule your heart. If you don’t feel genuine love and a passion for your partner and you’ve been together for a while, then it’s probably time to take the plunge and move on.
– it’s never too late to change your life, you just need the confidence to take that step. Start by socialising more and building a life outside of your relationship and you will soon see there are many opportunities and ways you can make that change and possibly find someone new to love. See our previous article How to find the partner of your dreams
– if your partner is psychically, verbally or emotionally abusive, this will create a very toxic unhealthy relationship. You should either break away from this or persuade your partner to seek professional help. Never put yourself or your children’s safety at risk, there is always external help for people experiencing domestic abuse.
Taken for granted
– they say that ‘complacency breeds contempt’ and this can be quite common if neither of you try to keep your relationship ‘alive and fresh’. This problem can be resolved if you both try, it only takes small actions and gestures to feel desired and respected by your partner, you just need to make time for this. See our previous article How to keep love alive
The passion has gone
– has the passion definitely left or have you both just stopped trying which can easily happen if you allow other commitments to get in the way. If it was there when you first met, you can probably revive the flames of passion by having date nights and making time for each other.
Revive or move on
– if your relationship has become stale, you need to have a discussion with your partner to decide whether it’s time for a break or to overhaul your relationship and try to resolve any problems affecting you both. If you’re completely honest with each other you will be able to decide together whether your relationship is worth saving or if it’s time to move on. If this is too difficult to manage between yourselves, there are relationship counsellors that can support and guide you.
Call TheCircle, where our relationship experts are available 24/7 to help you. You will also find useful advice from the many Love & Relationship articles that we feature.
Look out for our other love article during February
PUBLISHED: 30 January 2015