‘All the lonely people, where do they all come from?’ goes the well-known song Eleanor Rigby, by The Beatles. We can all relate to the words because loneliness is something we all fear, most of us have suffered from it at some point, and it can be very hard to deal with. Loneliness has a way of feeding on itself. It saps your self-confidence making you believe you aren’t very likeable. This in turn makes it harder to relate to people, maybe causing you to be awkward in company and possibly leading to you being thought stand-offish. When this has gone on for a while, loneliness can really set in. However, if you understand what’s happening you can move out of this stuck place and into something much happier.
ANALYSE THE REASONS
Think logically about why you are lonely. Have you always been this way? When did it start? What exactly do you want from other people, and what do you think they want from you? Could your loneliness be due to where you live? Your career? Your habits and routines? Or – be honest about this one – are you sometimes inconsiderate or unpleasant? Remember, friendships don’t just ‘happen’. Sometimes you need to put in a lot of work.
ARE YOU OVER-THINKING?
The chances are you answered ‘no’ to the last question above. This is because most lonely people actually try very hard to be nice. Quite possibly you scan the expressions and body-language of others to see if they like you. You may worry about how you handled social situations and go over and over what you said or did, trying to find a clue about where you could have slipped up. But the answer is obvious! If you are worrying about being liked then others will pick up your anxiety and some may feel uneasy around you.
DO WHAT YOU ENJOY
The best way to be relaxed around other people is to do what you enjoy with them. A shared hobby, course or entertainment can be a great bonding experience. While you’re absorbed in what you’re doing you won’t be thinking nearly so much about how other people are reacting to you, and you may find you’ve made friends quite naturally
TRY NOT TO TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY
Do you sometimes feel snubbed, and/or left out? This may well not be personal. People who have busy lives easily forget what it’s like to be on your own, and they may simply be distracted or over-committed. There’s nothing wrong with you – it’s just that they may not have room for you. So the bus is full, but another one will be along soon.
DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME
You may meet someone you think would be a perfect friend or have contact with a group of people that seem ideal, and you’d love to get involved. But if it’s not happening, then maybe it isn’t meant to be. Possibly you aren’t seeing things clearly. Maybe these individuals aren’t quite as nice as they seem and you may be glamourising them, because they seem so appealing. Don’t hang around hoping – this will only make you feel unhappy. Move on to pastures new.
DON’T BE PROUD
It can be hard to admit you’re lonely and you may fear that it could put people off. Of course, if you’re whining and clinging you’re unlikely to click, but there’s no harm in letting some people know a little of how you’re feeling. Folk can get things wrong – they may see you as self-sufficient and have no idea that you’re isolated. Give them a glimpse of your needs and you may find that they also are vulnerable.
SEEK PROFESSIONAL ADVICE
You may think your loneliness is a simple matter, but it could be much more complicated. Maybe something happened in your past that has made you wary. You could be giving out the wrong signals, unconsciously. Perhaps the truth is, deep down, you don’t want to be close to anyone – maybe through fear of being let down, or abused. Understanding yourself is the best way to learn how to move forwards, and our expert Readers at TheCircle are a great place to start.
Despite your best efforts you may find that you’re still lonely. That’s when you certainly need extra help from someone knowledgeable. At TheCircle you can always contact a Psychic or Medium who can help you. Benefit from a Psychic Reading, check your Horoscope, get some advice, insight and support. A Clairvoyant Reading is a great way to shift your viewpoint and move on, so make contact with us without delay
PUBLISHED: 08 SEPTEMBER 2015