As the evenings draw in it’s nice to be warm and cosy. But if you’re on your own it’s harder to create that snuggly feeling. The cold and the dark can make you feel even more isolated and if you’ve suffered a loss or bereavement you may be very down, and even despairing. But don’t give up. There are things you can do to improve matters and help is out there.
Here we look at:
A FEW ‘DON’TS’
It’s understandable that you want to cheer yourself up, but be careful how you do this. Often what lifts you for a short while can be bad news, long-term. Try not to slip into the following:
- Eating junk-food and takeaways. Food is the great comforter, but the wrong food will actually lower your mood. If you raise your blood sugar too swiftly this may be a quick fix, but your body will soon over-compensate and you’ll be left lethargic – and craving more of the wrong things. Besides this, if you run low on vitamins and minerals that’s going to play havoc with your state of mind. Instead choose warming soups and stews that truly comfort and nourish.
- Alcohol, nicotine and other addictive substances. A glass of wine each evening is fine but a bottle isn’t. Smoking rarely stops at one cigarette. Don’t you deserve something better than things that will damage your body?
- Pouring over mementoes, photos etc. There’s a time for sentimentality, but not now. You need to find a way to move forwards.
- Staying out late to avoid coming home. The later you come in the worse it will feel. A sensible routine will be much ore beneficial in all ways.
- Staying up late watching telly. If you’re not used to sleeping alone bedtime can be hard, but sleep is essential. Try sleeping in a different place if you want to avoid associations, but ensure you have a proper bedtime.
- Doing nothing. So here you are, all alone with little motivation. How easy it would be just to sit and feel sorry for yourself, having nothing to show for your time. But that’s a downward spiral of lethargy and negativity. Make yourself do something however hard this is because once you get going it will be easier.
COME IN TO COMFORT
Coming back to an empty house can feel dire, but there are plenty of ways you can make this much more pleasant. Planning and timing will alter your homecoming completely.
Ensure you do not come in to darkness. It’s easy enough to set an electric timer so the light is on for you.
It’s very important to come in to warmth. Your heating should be programmed to come on half an hour before you arrive, banishing all chills and ready to embrace you. If you do not have central heating, a heater also on a timer will do the trick.
Avoid coming in to silence. You can set your radio to the same timer, so there is music or conversation to welcome you. This also alters the Feng Fhui of your dwelling, making the energies more positive and dynamic.
Put some delicious food in a slow cooker, so that rich aromas greet you at the door. This will make you feel cared for.
HAVE A PET
It’s not news to say that animals are a great comfort. As well as companionship they bring healing, with their gentle presence. Even if you are busy you can have pets. Worried about leaving a dog for long periods? Two dogs will keep each other company and there may be a neighbor who can walk them.
As long as a cat has a cat-flap or litter tray it will be happy left but also happy to see you – even if this is mainly because your entrance means it’s supper time!
If you’re in rented accommodation pets may not be allowed but you could get away with guinea pigs or a parrot. Even an aquarium will bring light and movement into your dwelling.
YOU SHOULD GET OUT MORE!
It may be hard to get motivated. You come in and put your feet up – who wants to go out into the cold and dark? You do! Help is out there but it won’t beat your door down.
Consider a new hobby or sport and meet people. Yes, at first this may feel difficult. Often being in a crowd can intensify loneliness and rub in the fact there is no-one special to share your life. But be brave. This won’t last. You will eventually meet kindred spirits.
HOW WE CAN HELP
We have looked at what you shouldn’t do on those lonely evenings, examined practical comforts, pets and new activities. But there is something you can do that’s even better, very simple and always on hand – you can phone one of our wonderful Readers for all the support and caring that you need. Call today and get rid of that lonely feeling right now.
PUBLISHED: 13 November 2017