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Coping With Loss Of Stability


We all want to feel stable, and to know that life is predictable and steady. When everything is going smoothly it’s easy to believe that it will be that way forever. Then when things change it can be a great shock. Of course, the truth is that ‘stability’ is an illusion and that change is the only constant. How can you cope when situations in your life fall apart and it all feels very unstable indeed?


In the following we look at:
Looking after your spirituality
The role of simple pleasures
Not looking too far ahead
Banishing unstable thoughts




Having some – any – spiritual belief is such a comfort when things become difficult. Whatever is going wrong, whatever you’ve lost or are finding unreliable, unfamiliar or downright scary, in the world of Spirit there is an eternity of peace, love and light. Tune into this regularly through meditation, prayer or visualisation. Be with people who share your beliefs and who will support you in them. Soon tranquillity will re-establish itself in your soul.




Whatever you’re coping with you can still enjoy simple pleasures. Try to narrow your focus and appreciate what is real, in the moment. A cup of tea, a good TV programme, a glass of wine, a beautiful sunset, music, a cuddle with someone affectionate – whatever way your world is rocked, chances are most, if not all of these are still available. People have been enjoying these (or similar) for many years, and will, no doubt, enjoy for years to come. Lap them up and relish them as never before.




Whatever your doubts about life, there will be many gifts, possibly that you take for granted. Maybe a relationship you relied on has turned shaky – but what about other people that care for you, friends, family etc. Enjoy the love and affection that’s available. Possibly it’s your job, or finances that are dodgy, but there will be so much that remains – your talents, for instance, certain special possessions, future potential. If your health is causing concern, be grateful for any help or care you receive. Try not to let your anger at your situation get in the way of this basic gratitude. Dwell on it and it will heal you, bringing its own form of stability.



It feels like you’re standing on the deck of a small boat, tossed by stormy seas, and maybe out of control. In a situation like this it’s easy to believe that there’s a massive wave coming up that will capsize you completely. Avoid doing this. When you have lots to cope with, live your life day by day. Set out the tasks for the day, do them as best you can, and then, whether you’ve been successful or not, put the matter down and relax.
When you start to worry – which you probably will when instability strikes – divert your attention with simple pleasures (see above) Understand that there really is no point looking far ahead and thinking of all the difficulties and misfortunes that may be there. Of course you may need to set certain plans in motion, but keep thoughts of the far future to a minimum. It’s likely that your mind will throw up lots of bad things in an effort to be prepared for them. But that’s totally counter-productive. Meeting trouble half way never did anyone any good. Remind yourself to keep your mind on now.



Following on from the above, make a determined effort to banish unsteady thoughts, about the future, about yourself etc.  Of course, the mind can be something of a runaway horse, and as soon as you think about not thinking about something, that’s when you think it all the more!  So try these strategies:

  • Realise that thinking these things will not help. Contrary to what your tricky mind might be telling you, visualising all the bad stuff won’t strengthen you or prepare you for it. Instead it will deplete you, so make a commitment to yourself to be calm and settled
  • When you catch yourself thinking worrying thoughts, distract yourself. This could be by listening to the radio, music or an audio book, phoning a friend or doing something you like that absorbs you
  • Be aware of the part of your body that these thoughts lodge in. For instance, do you get a pain in your stomach? A churning or sick feeling? Tension in your shoulders? A bad back? Headaches? Give that part of your body special, loving care with massages or treatment, so that it doesn’t perpetuate the negativity
  • Be with people who seem to embody stability, and who encourage you to believe that your stability will return. Keep anyone ‘wobbly’ at arms length for now. Maybe you can help them later, but at this moment you have your own issues to sort



We’ve looked at spirituality, simple pleasures, gratitude, keeping your mind on the present and banishing unhelpful thoughts.  These will help you, of course, but when panic and anxiety set in, sometimes you need a calm word, encouragement and insight.  All of this is on hand with our team of Readers, so call today and regain your serenity and firmness.


PUBLISHED: 03 November 2016

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