Saying goodbye to a beloved grandparent happens to many people in early adulthood. Caught up in a whirl of dates and studies or embarking on your career or first major relationship, the passing of your grandparent, although sad, won’t necessarily hit you hard. On the other hand, it may be devastating, especially if your grandparent has been involved in caring for you. Losing your grandparent is, in a way, how life should progress. Because of this it may be easier to process than, for instance, the passing of a friend. Nonetheless, it is a major life event and you need support to get through it.
FAMILY STRUCTURE CHANGES
Without you realising it, it may have felt as if your grandparent protected you from mortality. With him or her there, it was easier not to think about death, for it seemed like ages away. Now your grandparent has made that journey and you may become aware that other family members could be vulnerable or ‘next in line.’ This can be hard but it teaches you the value of those you love. Appreciate them and spend quality time with them.
IT’S A ‘RITE OF PASSAGE’
Losing a grandparent is often a stage in becoming mature. It can remind you of responsibilities. Just because this person is no longer on the earth plane does not mean their wise words have gone. Remember all the good advice and example you received and make this part of your life.
IT MAY BE YOUR FIRST MAJOR EXPERIENCE OF DEATH
In life your grandparent probably taught you things and their death is a great lesson. Until now your only major loss may have been that of a pet. Now you may find yourself reflecting deeply and learning to process.
IT BRINGS RESPONSIBILITY
You may be sad, but for your bereaved parent it is much worse, for they have lost their parent. Having you close will be a great comfort.
TREASURE YOUR LEGACY
The good times you had with your grandparent can never die. They will stay with you in memory, enriching your life. It may help if you organise photographs and gifts so as to make a ‘picture’ of your experience.
HAVE TIMES TO GRIEVE
Grief makes everyone lonely – it isn’t always as much help as you may think to grieve as a family, for each person has their own individual experience. Your contemporaries may be more help than your parents. Try not to be surprised at the way your parents react, and try to be patient. Talk about your grandparent as much as you can, and let others talk too. It’s all part of the process.
IT’S OK TO HAVE NEGATIVE FEELINGS
Not all grandparents are lovely, and dying doesn’t turn them into angels. Don’t feel bad if you don’t care about this death. Now is a time for honesty and learning about yourself. One thing you can realise is that you can’t help how you feel. However, you can chose to behave supportively.
IT’S OKAY TO BE RELIEVED
Maybe your grandparent’s last weeks or months weren’t very pleasant, so it’s natural to be grateful they are dead. There is no reason you should not feel this way, so give yourself permission.
THINK ABOUT YOUR BELIEFS
Most people believe that death isn’t the end – in fact it is another beginning. You may not have thought much about this before, but now it may become important. What we say about life after death is bound not to make much sense because death means passing into another dimension and we don’t have adequate words for this. However, if you look inside your heart you will know that your grandparent is still around, and the love they gave you in life can never die.
Despite all your efforts, losing a grandparent can leave a big gap in your life, and talking about this can be a great consolation. At TheCircle you can always contact a psychic or medium who can help you. Benefit from a psychic reading, check your horoscope, get some advice, insight and support. A clairvoyant reading can show ways to move forwards, so make contact with us without delay
PUBLISHED: 25 MAY 2015