We all have a natural ability to be happy. If you think about it, when you were a small child happiness came easily. Yes, of course there were times when you cried and were heartbroken for a while, but even a toddler in the ‘terrible twos’ tantrum phase, cheers up comparatively quickly.
As a child you hadn’t learnt the habit of being miserable. You moved on from disappointments, found enjoyment and lived in the moment. Going through life it is so easy to get into the habit of dwelling on misfortunes. This is because in primitive times expecting problems and dangers was necessary for survival. These days the opposite is true. You don’t need to be physically on guard against sabre-toothed tigers and other perils, and carrying a gloomy attitude actually attracts more unhappiness.
Read about the following points;
Practice living more in the moment. When you find your mind spinning out into ‘what ifs’ or thinking about past mistakes and mishaps, consciously bring yourself back to now. Relax and focus for a few minutes on what you can see, feel, smell and hear now. Notice your emotions – experience them but realise although you have them, they are not the real you. In these moments of mindfulness you will begin to experience stillness and peace, leading to joy.
The many things that happen in life can make us feel out of control, leading to sadness and hopelessness. Remember however, that you can control how you react, and eventually how you feel. This comes from the inner strength you get through being yourself. Ask yourself what are your core values? What truly matters to you in terms of what you believe and wish to achieve? You do not have to argue, or convince anyone, and most of the time no-one may even need to know, but if you walk your talk you will find yourself in a more contented place.
So much sadness in life comes from comparing ourselves to others. Each of us is a being of light with a unique contribution to make to the Universe. Yes, there will be people who have more money, power, beauty, talent etc. – that is always the case. Even the most brilliant celebrity can make themselves miserable, if they choose, by finding someone who seems better in some way than themselves. So learn to cherish the qualities and talents you have.
Another sadness-generating comparison you may make concerns the relationships of others. Most of us truly desire a soul-mate type union with another. Because people often give the best impression possible, it’s easy to assume that several couples around you are idyllically happy. However, this is very unlikely to be true. Remember, no-one knows what goes on behind closed doors.
A third and most dodgy comparison of all is with your own dreams. You can imagine how you would feel in the perfect relationship. You can imagine how great it would be to be rich or successful and you feel cheated by the life you have. If this is you, then you are using your energies negatively, and need to do some work on visualization – see the next section.
All esoteric traditions stress the importance of desire, visualization, intention and belief. These are inward matters and worth far more than outward striving. Start with being clear about what you want, not in a way that generates frustration, but by clearly visualizing you have it in your life. Relax and be there.
Focus yourself on the quiet intention to have what you want. Be tranquil with this, visualizing yourself surrounded by a radiance that attracts your desire. You will have what you want, and all beings will be peaceful. It is important to feel this serenity because if you are in a stoked-up place of avid desire, then you’re actually in a place of lack. This is rarely productive, for like attracts like and if you feel needy you may attract more neediness, or at the very least have to work twice as hard to get what you want.
Believe that you can achieve this by regularly saying to yourself ‘Better things are on their way – I choose hope.’ Saturate your life with the belief that what you want is yours. Take sensible action also, of course, but do it in a serene manner, remaining in the moment and being optimistic. Soon your sadness will be a thing of the past and happiness will reign.
There is a special magic in gratitude because it draws more of the same. Find something, however small, to be grateful for each day. Dwell on this, envelope yourself in the warmth of this. Gradually you will find more and more things to be grateful for, and not only will your sadness ebb, happiness will take its place. Life will then begin to improve as you attract lovely things, and you will wonder what you ever worried about!
In this article we’ve looked at how to be in the ‘now’, being true to yourself, letting go of comparisons, believing in better and feeling grateful. There are plenty of attitudes for you to work on and it’s good to try to be cheerful and hopeful. Having said this there are times when we all need help and going it alone seems impossible. Don’t worry – our wonderful Readers are waiting, with a wealth of warmth and encouragement. Put in a call today and see your world turn around.
PUBLISHED: 17 August 2016