When a loved one or family member is dying it can seem as if words fail us, however after the physical hug, words are all that we have left. These words when carefully chosen can give comfort and support to the person who is dying and ease the frustration and hopelessness felt by the people who care.
Often people feel anticipatory grief when they find out a loved one/friends or even a family member is dying. Anticipatory grief means dealing with a grieving, a loss, before it has happened. When someone is terminally ill the person who is dying as well as friends and family face many losses. This can result to eventual blows to independence, security, impaired abilities and truncated visions of the future. This leads to many emotions the typical ones being:
It is important to talk with sympathetic friends or family members, most people have experienced loss in one form or another. Join a support group for “pre-bereavement” be it on-line or in person.
Talk to the wonderful readers at TheCircle who can support you and guide you through this difficult time, allowing you to then support the person who is dying. By keeping yourself strong you can be there for them.
The last thing one should do is keep away from a friend or loved one who is facing death for fear of saying the “wrong thing”. The best solution is often to say nothing at all, simply just being there is often enough. If you are a close friend “I love you” is enough. Keep the expression of concern simple and be willing to be a good listener.
Sometimes just the simple “I'm sorry”, “I want to help if I can”, “You're a wonderful friend” and of course that all important “I love you” can make all the difference.
PUBLISHED: 20 January 2014