The stress and emotional trauma that we feel from losing a loved one can be unbearable.
Our emotions are a huge part of us. They govern our thinking, our words and our actions. So when something happens that makes them feel uncontrollable or totally overwhelming, what are we meant to do to balance ourselves again?
The stress and emotional trauma that we feel from losing a loved one can be unbearable. Life around us carries on as if nothing has happened, yet inside we are torn apart with pain and cannot focus on our normal daily tasks. We wonder what it would be like to feel ‘normal’ again and crave some kind of respite from the hurt which is not only from our internal emotions but it is a real physical feeling too. It’s as if your world has been turned upside down and you’re clinging on for dear life. You feel that it is a pain that nobody else can understand.
There is no quick fix or magic wand for grieving, just as there is no right or wrong way or timescale
So how long does it usually take to grieve for a loved one? What can you do to make yourself feel much better? There is no quick fix or magic wand for grieving, just as there is no right or wrong way or common timescale for that matter too. This is a part of life that everyone will go through at some stage and it is probably one of the hardest things to come to experience. We have to take one day at a time, not put pressure on ourselves and just accept that what we are going through, millions of others have been through too. We need to learn to be kind to ourselves, to pull in all our friends and family and accept help or a shoulder to cry on when we feel we need it.
Making decisions or concentrating on normal daily tasks can be so difficult
Many different emotions can be experienced during the grieving process – loss, sadness, denial, loneliness, numb, confusion, anger. You may have trouble sleeping, you may feel like you are in pain emotionally and physically and you may have difficulty eating. Making decisions or concentrating on normal daily tasks can be so difficult too. There does seem to be a process of grief but the length of time it takes can vary from person to person. Grief can feel like depression as there are many common symptoms and can vary from day to day. You may have good days and bad days and your emotions will feel like you’re on a never ending rollercoaster.
Let loved ones or people close to you know how you’re feeling and tell them how they can help
It is really important to keep talking. Let loved ones or people close to you know how you’re feeling and tell them how they can help. Whether it’s just a shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to or just some company occasionally – ask your friends and family to help you during this time. Support groups can also be a huge help, sharing your experience with others who are going through the same feelings helps you to be open up and have a mutual understanding for something in common. If you are feeling like you cannot cope or you are overwhelmed with the intense feelings, speak to your doctor and ask if they can help you to arrange some grief counselling. An experienced and professional counsellor is specialised in this area and will help you to work through your emotions.
‘Cruse’ are a charity that are set up to help in bereavement care and who many people have benefitted from speaking to and sharing their experience. There are also many complementary therapies that can assist the process of emotional healing. Having regular Reiki, Shiatsu, Reflexology or Aromatherapy treatments boosts your immune system, helps you to relax and will aid to balance your emotions. Remember, time is a healer too but if you can get a helping hand to guide you through your journey, it will be easier for you.
PUBLISHED: 12 February 2016