Being alone has its advantages. You can make your own choices and be independent. But the down side can be loneliness. There is no one to share big decisions or to talk to about life’s problems, no-one to encourage you when things aren’t going so well or to make you a cuppa when you’re tired. Most difficult of all, there’s no-one to look after you when you’re ill.
If you’re bereaved, being ill can rub in the fact you’re now on your own. Every time you need a glass of water you’re reminded that the caring person who would have brought it for you isn’t there any more. Waking in the night feeling dreadful, with an empty space in the bed can be an all-time low. If your illness is serious and you’ve had a worrying diagnosis, you may long for encouraging words from someone who cares. Be strong, for love is all around you even if it seems cold and dark at this moment.
If there is no-one to look after you then play a little game. We are all many people rolled into one, and now you need to find your inner carer/therapist/nurse. Imagine this person quite separate from you, and listen to what he or she says. Are you being told to stay in bed? Then stay there! Should you drink more water, phone the doctor or take more medication? Do as you are told! Imagine your ‘inner carer’ pushing you to do the things you may be reluctant to do, such as keeping on at medical staff and asking friends for help. If your imagination is good this can take some of the emotion out of your reluctance – you can feel less personally responsible if you’re only ‘following orders’!
There are some illnesses you should just give in to, for a while. So if you have flu stay in bed and do all the old-fashioned things such as gargling with salt water, drinking hot lemon and honey and holding your head over a bowl of steaming water and eucalyptus oil. If you have received a serious diagnosis and/or have a long-term condition, then obviously you will want to make the best of this, so help yourself. Turn research into a hobby and look up all the alternative treatments for what has worked for others may work for you. Knowing as much as you can will make you feel more in control.
FRIENDS WILL HELP.
Not all friends are great when it comes to sickness, but don’t take it personally if some stay away. Others will rally round, and there will even be people who you would never class as ‘friends’ who are there for you, and enjoy helping. To tell the truth some folk get a kick out of being needed and although you may find this intrusive at times, you must make yourself take advantage of them. Show your gratitude in thoughtful ways, such as buying a bunch of flowers, when you are well enough, ordering a gift on-line or just sending a card. Remember, you are ‘giving’ by allowing yourself to be helped, for this kind of caring is what brings people together and makes them feel valued, so don’t be proud. However, make sure you have proper boundaries in place, so you can keep your privacy. For instance, don’t give a key to a friend unless you can really trust them not to come in when you are better and/or need to be alone. Being helped does not make you beholden, having to be nice and agreeable to anything your helper suggests – learn to say a firm and pleasant ‘no’ when necessary, along with your ‘thank-you’s’.
If you are worried about your health, or just feel very low and without energy, you need to talk. When coping with illness alone it can be easy to get things out of perspective and let your fears run away with you. At The Circle we have many wise readers who can bring you consolation.
However poorly you are, you can manage to pick up the phone. Then you’ll realize you aren’t as alone as you thought. At The Circle you can always contact a psychic or medium who can help you. Benefit from a psychic reading, check your horoscope, get some advice, insight and support. A clairvoyant reading is a wonderful therapy, so make contact with us without delay.
PUBLISHED: 17 February 2015