Bereavement happens to everyone at one time or another, but it is a very isolating experience, nonetheless. Even if family members and friends are bereaved at the same time, each of you will be grieving alone. Every person grieves in their own way, and in their own time, and while there may be ‘wrong’ ways of grieving, such as bottling it all up, there is no right way – only what’s right for you. If you’re thinking you ‘should’ have recovered, you’ve probably got it wrong, for there are no ‘shoulds’ in this process. However, there are some points to be aware of.
Get aware of Grief
• If this was a significant bereavement – partner, sibling, life-long friend, parent – then please don’t expect to be quite the same again. Yes, you will enjoy life, and possibly even more intensely than you did before. But that may take months or years. When you emerge from the grieving process, you are bound to be changed at some level.
• Make sure you aren’t suppressing any emotion linked to the person you have lost, or to your current situation. Anger, resentment, despair – they are all part of the process, along with loss, loneliness and many sensations that will be individual to you, and your situation. Don’t feel guilty if you are relieved and liberated. Just because someone has died, doesn’t mean you should feel anything particular.
• If your grief isn’t flowing then maybe visiting your old haunts or reminiscing with friends may work. Or something unrelated may make you cry, such as a sad film. But always remember that some grief is too deep for tears and that can be quite healthy.
• As grief heals, you will have good days and bad days. The bad days don’t mean that you’ve gone right back to the beginning. It’s always like that, and as time goes by the good days will increase.
• Beware of holding on to the grief because it is a remaining connection with your loved-one. This may sound strange, but it’s not unusual. Purposely (although subconsciously) keeping yourself in that first stage of overwhelming loss can make you feel closer. Moving on may seem like letting go of them forever, but it’s not like that. You will be close to them in a different, and better way.
• Ask yourself if you are spending too much time with other bereaved people. Are you keeping each other in that place of loss? Maybe you have bonded with friends because of this and are afraid that if you move on you’ll lose connection with them, also. If so, seek other support. Our readers at TheCircle can help you see clearly.
• If you are truly depressed, then this amounts to more than simple bereavement, although it is understandable, following a loss. If you can’t get up in the morning, are thinking of self-harming or suicide, feel continually surrounded by a black cloud and have no interest at all in anyone or anything then please seek help. Again. At TheCircle, support is always easily available.
• Nurture your spirituality in any way that helps you and never let anyone make you doubt, or question. Often bereavement can shake your beliefs. Talk to people who can encourage you and help you regain your faith.
Remember that support is available for you. Of course it is good to talk, and although every bereavement is unique that shouldn’t cut you off from sharing. You will get all the understanding that you need. At TheCircle you can always contact a psychic or medium who can help you. Benefit from a psychic reading, check your horoscope, get some advice, insight and encouragement. A clairvoyant reading is a great way to feel soothed and uplifted, so make contact with us without delay
PUBLISHED: 22 JUNE 2015