Bereavement Counselling - Your Support System

 

The death of a loved one can make us feel very isolated and it can feel like nobody else understands. At this difficult time of your life, it is important to seek bereavement counselling to help you to keep communicating your feelings.

 


Losing a loved one, can be one of the most difficult experiences we go through in life. Grief can encompass many different emotions and often there are some which we may never have experienced before. The death of a loved one can make us feel very isolated and it can feel like nobody else understands. At this difficult time of your life, it is important to seek bereavement counselling to help you to keep communicating your feelings. Especially for those who are very independent, they can find it tough reaching out to people for support and asking for a shoulder to lean on to help get through the grieving process.

Nobody can wave a magic wand and take all your pain away, but they can be there, even if it is just to listen when you need to talk

 

BEREAVEMENT COUNSELLING - TALKING ABOUT EMOTIONS WITH AN EXPERT



Some people let pride get in the way but often they just don’t want to be a burden on others, especially when grieving involves such painful emotions which can be difficult to display. Some find the pain becomes physical and not just emotional and they find it hard to explain how they are feeling or to put their grieving in to words. The grieving process is exactly that – a ‘process’ which is made up of many different emotions ranging from deep sadness, anger, numbness, fear, loneliness, guilt and sometimes depression. Experts in Bereavement care say that each of these emotions are hard to deal with, and although perfectly normal, it is so important that we have a support system because if they are not dealt with, it can affect our long-term mental health.

 

 

Reaching out for support makes the process easier and helps others to understand your emotions and teaches them how to be there for you. Nobody can wave a magic wand and take all your pain away, but they can be there to offer you bereavement support, even if it is just to listen when you need to talk. Being there for bereaved people who are grieving gives them a caring friend and someone who will be in their company no matter how they are feeling. Many people will initially react to the loss of a loved one by showing denial and wanting to be on their own. This is our natural way of helping us come to terms with what has happened, especially if the person we have lost is our partner, husband or wife. Bereaved people often have a feeling of ‘this is how it’s going to be, so I better get on with it and learn to be alone’. Although this is understandable, it actually isn’t very helpful for them at that moment in time. Yes, they will need to learn to live without the other person, but these early stages are such a traumatic time, they need a support system to help them through it. Any form of counselling, whether it is Bereavement Counselling or an expert in Bereavement care, relationship counselling or talking therapy can be of a huge benefit to people.


There is no set time for how long it takes to grieve for someone you have lost

 

WHAT CAN BEREAVED PEOPLE EXPECT IN THE GRIEVING PROCESS?



Some of the following facts may be helpful to know:
 

 

  • OUR EMOTIONS - Grief involves many different emotions and can be quite extreme or intense to experience. These emotions can often change our behaviour, sometimes towards people who are trying to help or support us. Feelings of fear, anger, guilt, sadness, despair, loneliness are very common and some people may need counselling for depression. It is important to accept that these emotions are part of the course and to work through them with the support of others. Burying these emotions can affect your future and your mental health, so it is important to ask for bereavement support.
  • TIME OF GRIEVING – There is no set time for how long it takes for bereaved people t grieve for someone they have lost. Some professional grief counsellors suggest an estimated period of 18-24 months for most people, but everyone is different. It is important not to put pressure on people to supposedly speed up the grieving process and may well prove counterproductive. 
  • ACCEPTANCE – We are not given a handbook to follow for grieving and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. It is an unpredictable rollercoaster with many steps forward and back. The various emotions that can be experienced do not come in a set order, they will vary from person to person, some will experience some emotions while others will not. Eventually coming to terms with what has happened is a form of acceptance and this will be an important part of the healing process. Some bereaved people do need specialist counselling for depression. Nobody ever really gets over the death of a loved one but they learn to adjust to not having that person in their life in the future.
  • KEEP TALKING – Speaking with someone within our support system or who specialises in bereavement care is extremely important. Whether this is a member of the family, a friend or an expert in Bereavement Counselling, talking out loud about your emotions and how you’re feeling is vital. Many people explain how their loved one died over and over and this is not an unhealthy thing to do. It is a way of processing what has happened and a way of accepting their death. Speaking to an expert in relationship counselling would also be an advantage at this time.

 

ACCEPT THE GOOD DAYS AND THE BAD DAYS IN THE FUTURE

 


The pain of losing a loved one may never fully heal and you certainly don’t get over the death of a loved one. There will be good days and bad days in the future, sleepless nights and times when you don’t feel like eating or seeing anyone. Remember, you are going through the grieving process and healing takes time for everyone. You are not alone in how you feel. There will be better days and you will get through it, but making sure you have a support system in place will help in the long-run. 


PUBLISHED: 29 February 2016

 

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