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How to be More Confident and How to Say 'No'


Are you a ‘Yes’ person? Do you worry about saying ‘No’? Find out about how to be more confident and say what you really feel…


Many of us find ourselves saying yes or agreeing to things that we wouldn’t necessarily choose to do. We end up kicking ourselves, wishing that we had had the confidence to just say what we really felt. Saying yes to something which may cause us unease, or may be something which takes us out of our way to do, is actually very common. Being a ‘Yes’ person is not such a bad thing when we are helping out our nearest and dearest, but what happens when we find ourselves being manipulated or used? Learning how to be more confident is a process of change that takes a little time, but it will improve low self esteem, broaden our comfort zone and give us more self confidence.

Building self esteem is the best way to start…





Switching from someone who often says yes, to someone who says no, is perhaps not as quick and straightforward as it seems. It can often be particular people in your life who seem to think that they can ask you to do whatever they want and that you won’t batter an eyelid. Building self esteem is the best way to start and knowing how to gain confidence in these situations can be tricky especially if you have been influenced or controlled by this person. You will need to train yourself to think twice when you are asked to do something, but eventually it will start to come naturally. Having a checklist in your mind is very helpful and will guide you to answer in the best way possible:

  1. Is what they are asking you to do an unreasonable idea?
  2. Are they asking you to do something out of spite to someone else?
  3. Is what they’re asking only going to benefit them?
  4. Does it make you feel uncomfortable in any way?
  5. Is what they’re asking going to put you at a disadvantage?
  6. Will it affect someone else who may be vulnerable or might not be able to speak for themselves?
  7. Do you feel that they are manipulating you in any way?
  8. Is it something which takes you out of your comfort zone?
  9. Is it something that they could easily do themselves?
  10. Is this someone who always asks you to do things for them?

Develop your own strategies on how to cope when a situation arises out of the blue…





If you have often been a ‘Yes’ person, making a conscious decision to stand up for yourself and start saying no is the first step to building self-esteem and self confidence. Develop your own strategies on how to gain confidence and cope when a situation arises out of the blue, so that it creates more time for you to answer and you are not put on the spot. On occasions, this can’t be avoided, but sometimes it can. For example, if a friend calls you and asks if you can do X, Y and Z, perhaps say that you are in the middle of something (we invariably are!) and that you will get back to them. Emails and text messages are not instantaneous and give you time to think about what you want to answer. Using these strategies in the initial stages of you learning how to be more confident, can be useful and improves your low self esteem. As time goes by and you are getting stronger, you will eventually start to give people the genuine reasons as to why you don’t want to do something ‘Sorry, I just don’t feel comfortable doing that’, or ‘Actually I was planning on probably doing something that day, so I won’t be around to help’.

Thinking and planning ahead empowers you…




In order to build up your confidence, you will need to learn to step outside of your comfort zone. You can do this gradually as you are getting stronger. In fact, pushing yourself to take a leap like this in something that you wouldn’t ordinarily do, could have the opposite effect and increase anxiety, taking you back to square one. Thinking and planning ahead empowers you to equip yourself with the necessary steps you need to take and makes it a much more gradual process. Being consciously aware that you are wanting to increase your self-esteem and self confidence, will teach you how to be more confident. Think about what you don’t feel confident about and what you need to do to change it to improve it.

Think about how that person treats you and treats others, because it is likely that you are not the only person they manipulate or use…




Being aware that these people do exist and may well be present in your family and circle of friends, can help you to look at your relationships in a different way. Think about how that person treats you and treats others, because it is likely that you are not the only person they manipulate or use. This behaviour towards others is defined within their character and often these personality traits stem from insecurity or past experience, so they thrive on control and power. Narcissists will use people to their advantage to make them look good and they cannot handle anybody who says no or questions their authority. They will do anything to make them look the best and in their eyes, they will never be wrong. Thinking about how you deal with such people will enable you to learn how to handle them in situations, and perhaps you may choose to keep some people at arm’s length.





A psychic reading will guide you on your boundaries, learning how to be more confident encourages your self-esteem, your self confidence and empowers you. Gain control of your life and make decisions which will benefit you by having a psychic reading with our talented psychics at TheCircle.




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PUBLISHED: 29 April 2016

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