It’s accepted these days that we want to make everything easy for everyone, especially ourselves. But maybe we’re getting too soft. The truth isn’t always easy to face, but running away from it just makes happiness – that goal we’re all chasing – even harder to reach. Many spiritual teachings give the message that we are put on this earth to learn lessons, and we all know that learning takes effort. Sometimes teachers – in the shape of life’s events and difficult people – can seem punishing. But really they’re being cruel to be kind, for once you’ve toughened up and dealt with what you’re given, you realize how far you’ve come and how strong you really are. So, sit up straight, listen and learn!
Remember that saying ‘You can please all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you’ll never please all of the people all of the time.’ That applies in politics, but also in your personal life. However nice you try to behave, you’re going to strike the wrong note with someone. That can hurt all the more if you’ve done your best to appear perfect – but then, maybe that wasn’t real. Ask yourself about your true values. What sort of a person do you want to be? What do you respect and believe? Decide to be the kind of individual that you really like, and if others can’t get on with you say firmly to yourself ‘That’s their problem’
Some of these will be huge, some of them will be silly. Why? Because you are human. Every successful person has failed countless times – the difference between the guy who wins through and the loser is the ability to keep on keeping on, and to learn lessons. Mistakes are there to teach us and we learn much quicker from a single, shaming mistake than we do from a bunch of successes. So don’t waste time kicking yourself - pick yourself up, dust yourself down and have another go.
When you love someone it’s easy to give, and give again, and to assume that your partner wants to do the same. But people have very different standards and values, and being in love doesn’t mean you have to lose your individuality. Don’t assume that your partner needs and wants what you have to offer, or will be there to fulfill all your dreams. Just because your partner loves you doesn’t mean he or she will do whatever you ask. ‘Give and take’ may go far deeper than you imagine, when what you have to ‘give’ is some of your expectations, and beliefs about the relationship. In the end relationships are another learning situation, and if you use them to find out things about yourself and – where necessary – be prepared to change, you’re an ‘A’ student.
You know that, of course, but are you truly taking it on board? If you’re grafting 24/7 and continually worrying about bills, you aren’t living. What would happen if you were told you were going to die tomorrow? Would you wish you’d earned more, or would you more probably wish you’d spent more time with friends, looking at sunsets and flowers, listening to music? Think about how many mega-successful celebrities are addicted to drugs, or have even committed suicide. True values are about empathy and spirituality, so start putting that into practice. Even if you can’t always hold that thought, keep returning to it and strengthen it by making good contacts and by meditating.
You may see someone at the top of their game and it all looks effortless. But you don’t see the all the work they have put in, sometimes for months and years. Whether you want to start up a new venture, get rid of your muffin-top or even do something practical like create a wonderful garden, it will take time, dedication and hard slog. So cultivate your patience and make your plan.
Maybe you can accept that life wasn’t meant to be easy, and you do your best, but sometimes it really does seem too much. The knock-backs are too severe, and you’re feeling bruised, battered and discouraged. That’s when you need some new input and a bit of TLC to hearten you – and that’s where our insightful readers at The Circle come in. Get in contact today - you’ll see where it’s all leading and be empowered to carry on.
PUBLISHED: 10 November 2014