So you really wanted that job or to be accepted onto that course but you haven’t succeeded. It isn’t the end of the world. You can pick yourself up and get back on your feet with a sensible, step-by-step approach.
TALK ABOUT WHAT’S HAPPENED
Share your experience and trauma with sympathetic and helpful friends – don’t even think about toughing it out. Pride is not your friend in this circumstance. Don’t keep what’s happened a secret or pretend you don’t care. You need the help and support of others, not just because sharing helps, but also you may receive valuable advice from friends who’ve been there before. With any luck you’ll get some practical help, into the bargain.
If you aren’t sure who to tell, don’t worry. Our team of expert Readers are just a call away, and they have a store of encouragement and wise advice to buck you up.
DUST YOURSELF OFF AND MAKE PLANS
Embracing your emotions, having time out and talking should all help to get you, naturally, to a point where you begin to recover. If they don’t, then give yourself a severe talking to. Ask yourself if your emotional awareness has started to become wallowing. There is no room for self-pity. Remind yourself that everyone has had to cope with rejection at some point. You will live to fight again – and win!
Start to plan the next step in your life. If you can’t see very far into the future, plan the next few days. You don’t have to have everything in place quickly – it may take months before you really feel your life is back on track. In the meantime you can have smaller goals – read books, do on-line courses, try a part-time job doing something you’ve never considered. Open your mind to new ways of looking at things.
SATURATE YOURSELF IN SUCCESS STORIES
Keep away from anyone pessimistic. Read accounts of people who failed catastrophically yet went on to become billionaires, people who were thwarted in their vocation only to be a fantastic success in something else, people who failed exams yet went on to write best-sellers.
The world is full of such stories. In fact most successful people have failed at some point, some several times. What has happened to you may turn out to be a blessing in disguise.
LEARN FROM YOUR REJECTION
You may feel your rejection wasn’t your fault, but examine this carefully. It may indeed be the case that you were unfortunate, that competition was too great, or that you were misled. But there is no such thing as an accident. The Cosmos has made this happen for a reason.
Ask yourself if what you wanted was quite right for you after all. Ask yourself if you made any mistakes. We all make them and as any successful person will tell you, you must learn from them. What could you do better, or differently? How can this experience prove constructive for you?
One thing your rejection will hopefully have taught you is how to cope with rejection! It didn’t destroy you. Remember this as you face the world and do not fear another knock-back because you have the resources to cope.
HOW WE CAN HELP
You’ve seen the importance of opening yourself to the feeling of rejection, ‘convalescing’, talking about what happened, turning around and making plans, saturating yourself in success stories and learning from the experience. Now you are ready to take steady steps towards a new goal and you will be strengthened by what happened.
PUBLISHED: 01 August 2018