Six Steps To Self Love

 
Self love truly is the greatest love of all.  Why?  Because it is the gateway to love of all types.  Learn the secrets of healthy self-love and put them into practice for a happier life and better relationships.
 

Learn about:
  • Why self-love is important
  • Self-love meditation
  • Make a date with yourself
  • Create positive affirmations
  • Accept your flaws
  • Clean up your relationships
 

WHY SELF-LOVE MATTERS

 
You may have been brought up to believe that loving yourself is a bad thing.  ‘Selfish’ is a nasty word and no-one wants to be called that.  However, when you love yourself then you are able to be truly unselfish at times, because you’re acting from empathy, not guilt, and what you give is freely given.  Because of this it enriches you and everyone else.
 
Why would you not love yourself?  How can it be wrong to take care of your own wellbeing?  When you care for yourself you are stronger and happier, and that good feeling spreads.  There’s noting virtuous about being a miserable person, always worrying about doing the ‘right’ thing and making everyone around you feel uneasy.  So relax, enjoy life and put yourself first.
 

STEP ONE BE KIND TO SELF MEDITATION

 
Start re-programming yourself with this meditation.  Find a comfortable position that allows you to relax, but not go to sleep.  Take a few deep, cleansing breaths.  Think of whatever is troubling you.  Don’t judge or mock – just look calmly at where you haven’t met your standards.  Now remind yourself that this means you’re human.  Everyone on the planet has been here.
 
Ask yourself what you would say to a dear friend who was in your position.  Offer these kind and encouraging words to yourself.  Squeeze you own hand or imagine a gentle arm around you.  You can also place your hands on your own heart as you say words of compassion to your best friend – you!
 
Notice how you feel and take a few more deep breaths.  When you’re ready, open your eyes, make a note of your impressions and say ‘Well done!’ to yourself for your self-care.
 

STEP TWO IT’S A DATE!

 
How many times do you say to yourself that you want some time off, want time to spend on a hobby, reading, catching up with your favourite programmes…
 
If a friend wanted you to do something with them you might well give up valuable time to please them. So now do this for yourself.  Put a date in your diary when you will drop everything and just do what you want.  You’ll be so renewed and encouraged by this that everything else will go more smoothly.
 

STEP THREE PUT IT INTO WORDS

 
Chances are you often tell yourself off, saying things like ‘I’m so stupid!’  ‘I always get that wrong’  ‘I look awful’ and any number of insults you wouldn’t dream of saying to anyone else.  So stop it now!
 
Instead create some positive affirmations. These should be ones that feel good and harmonise with you.  There’s no need to go to extremes at first, telling yourself you’re marvelous (even though you are!) because your mind could reject this. Try instead:
‘I’m okay’
‘I am peaceful and loving’
‘I do my best’
I do many useful things’
Or whatever appeals.  As you feel better and better you can make your affirmations more and more positive.
 

STEP FOUR FORGIVE YOURSELF

 
How many times do you go over and over past mistakes, silly things you did, major decisions you got wrong?  What is the point in that?  Again, think how you would react to a good friend who was troubled about what they’d done?  And what would you say to a friend who sincerely apologized for something?
 
This is not to say you actually have done anything wrong, but it may feel that way.  So forgive yourself, with warmth and compassion.  That was then, this is now.  You have learnt and you’re moving on.  It’s what life is all about.  You are stronger for it and you accept yourself unconditionally.
 

STEP FIVE EMBRACE YOUR FLAWS AND WEAKNESS

 
When you do not really love and accept yourself as you are, you may not want to acknowledge your weaknesses.  Instead you may conceal them if you can, even from yourself, because you see them as so dreadful they can’t be admitted to.
 
Understand that this is nonsense.  You do not have to pretend, especially to yourself.  Certainly do not judge yourself.  You did not ask to have these issues to grapple with.  Chances are you’re doing your best.  Fully opening up to those aspects of yourself that are flawed empowers you to improve.  It’s not an impossible task and it’s something every human being needs to do.  Gently and good-humouredly plan to improve yourself – and don’t forget to laugh at yourself on the way!
 

STEP SIX CLEAN UP YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

 
If you truly care for yourself you will realise that you deserve to be with people who make you feel good about yourself.  These should accept and even encourage you on your path in life.  Take a look at your relationships.  Do they support your needs?  Do they make you feel cheerful, valued, warm inside?  Or is there anyone in your life who puts you down, manipulates you, drains you or – even worse – is downright nasty to you?  They have to go!
 
Loving yourself means that you protect yourself from being hurt by others.  Of course, all relationships and friendships go through bad patches.  Friends can be a weight when they need extra support – but as long as that’s a two-way street it’s okay (although you still have to protect yourself).  Try not to worry about hurting others when being with them hurts you.  Imagine that little child within you – doesn’t she or he deserve to be safe and loved?  Care fiercely for your vulnerable inner self.
 
When you are with people who truly make you feel good inside, give the kind of love that you want to receive.  To check whether this is right, ask yourself if you feel enriched.  If the answer is yes, then you’re on the right track.  However, please note, this isn’t about getting approval from people you see as special or powerful – that’s not a warm, relaxing sensation.  Although it may be nice for a while there’s always a tinge of anxiety and stress in case you get it wrong.  When love is truly flowing it’s serene and healing, even when it’s exciting.
 
Always be the most special person in your Universe.  Forget yearning to meet ‘The One’.  First you have to be ‘The One’.  Like attracts like and when you love yourself you get loved in return.
 

HOW WE CAN HELP

 

Now you can hopefully understand why self-love is important and put the six steps of self-love meditation, making a date with yourself, creating positive affirmations, accepting your flaws and cleaning up your relationships.  You have some tools to set you on track for ‘the greatest love of all.’  If you struggle with this in any way, help is at hand.  You can take a major step towards loving yourself by contacting our team of warm-hearted Readers, who will soon show you your path ahead.

 

 

PUBLISHED: 24 September 2018

 
 

 

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