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Higher Love - Developing That Spiritual Connection With Your Partner

Your relationship may be going along fine, but somehow you feel that something is missing. Are you soul-mates? Or have you just ended up together because neither of you had anything better on the horizon? Spiritual wisdom teaches us that no relationship happens by chance. If you are with each other it is for a reason, and you are meant to grow together. Foster that soul-to-soul connection using the following five points for a radiant and uplifting partnership.

Read about:
  • Taking stock
  • Holding meaningful conversations
  • Practicing daily spirituality
  • Making time for intimacy
  • Nurturing your relationship


In order to more onwards and upwards it’s first important to know where you, and your partner, stand. In times gone by, (and in the present day, in some cultures) people were not allowed to marry someone from another faith. That sort of compulsion takes away personal liberty, and can be very destructive. However, there is great value in pairing up with someone who shares your beliefs. In Western culture we are apt to assess prospective partners for their education, looks and material success, but that is superficial and certainly will not lead to transcendence.
You and your lover should ask yourselves about your viewpoints on spirituality, and what you actually believe. What matters to you, deep down? What is the true meaning of life? What are your intentions and goals? Do you practice daily meditation or spiritual reflection? Do you enjoy exploring faiths and talking about such matters as higher consciousness and the Divine?
It may well be that you turn up more differences between you than similarities, but that does not matter as long as you both value the basic idea of spirituality and are willing to explore together.


You have to talk about the shopping, your social calendar and the hundred and one topics that ordinary life brings your way, but it should not stop there. Share your deeper reflections, even if they are hard to express, or confused. For instance, if you go to a funeral together, talk about life after death. If a baby is born, do you believe this human has just come into being, or is this an old soul, reincarnated?
Put a little time aside at least once a week to air your thoughts on life’s great mysteries. There are three rules here. They are:
  1. Be respectful and tolerant. Do not mock, judge, condemn or pronounce any belief as ‘wrong’ unless it involves cruelty and unkindness
  2. Hear your partner out – do not interrupt
  3. Look for points of similarity rather than emphasising differences. For instance, you may see God’s love expressing itself in green fields, flowers and woodland while your partner just ‘feels’ the peace and blessing, but this is tantamount to the same thing.




Agree with your lover that you will do something spiritual together each day. This could mean lighting a joss stick and candle and having five minutes peace before bed-time, to centre down and reflect. (This could involve your relationship chalice – see below) Or it could mean looking at the stars together. Many people find the practice of shared meditation very boding, so research a guided visualisation you can listen to together. Afterwards you can compare notes. It’s a good idea to write down what each of you has experienced.


You may have sex regularly, but are you truly connecting? Set the scene with candles, music and incense, and dedicate and evening to each other. Take the time to connect intimately, telling each other how you feel, exploring your own sensations and the reactions of your lover.
Practice sensual massage, and experience the overwhelming pleasure of giving pleasure. Be aware that your bodies are a great gift from the Divine. Feel the energy build between you, and pledge your love to each other. Visualise the power of your feelings creating a glow around you that forms a ball of light, which then separates from you, rising into the air, drawn to any part of the world that needs healing. Visualise this radiant globe showering light and love into the shadowy corners of the earth, so your love is a force for good.


When two people combine, they create a third entity- the relationship itself. Although it’s important to look after your partner, there’s something more to do – look after the relationship. Your relationship is like a chalice, your own personal Holy Grail, containing all the wonderful, caring qualities, the essence of your connection.
After the initial excitement has worn off, many people slip back into their daily routines, letting the relationship take care of itself, but that’s a mistake. As a couple you may do fine, moving forwards in life and being successful. You may be getting on well enough together, but if you want that higher connection you need to put in some effort.
You might like to get a goblet, chalice or large wine glass to symbolise your relationship. Place this on a shelf or cupboard top between two candles, and honour it by garlanding it with wild-flowers, burning incense, placing religious/spiritual symbols close to it or by pouring wine or juice into it and sharing it. As you do this, talk to each other about your relationship, how precious it is, how it’s changed your life, where you feel you’re going together. Doing this regularly will forge an unbreakable bond between you, and enable you to soar together.



You know about taking stock, having conversations, practicing daily spirituality, creating time for intimacy and nurturing your relationship. You have the tools to create something really wonderful that can lift you both higher than high. However, if life isn’t going so smoothly, you may need some personal advice to start you off. All you need to do is call one of our enlightened Readers who will set you on your way to transcendence.



PUBLISHED: 20 July 2018

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