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Don’t Feel Guilty

Guilt is one of the most destructive emotions. Get rid of yours once and for all. In this article we look at:
  • The roots of guilt
  • The role of religious belief
  • The drawbacks of being too empathic
  • Sending healing




Many of us were brought up to feel guilty just for being alive. Religious beliefs and conditioning from parents can have the effect of making guilt a kind of ‘default’ so whenever anything goes wrong you feel guilty even when you’ve done nothing.
Perhaps your guilt is not quite so extreme. But it may still be inappropriate. For instance if your relationship breaks up do you feel completely to blame? If you have guests and one isn’t happy do you feel it’s all your fault?
These reactions could come from kindness and empathy. Is this happening because you identify so powerfully with their feelings? Or it could be because of a general lack of confidence. Maybe you tend to feel generally quite bad about yourself.
Think about where your guilt comes from. You need first to challenge the assumption that your guilt is justified. Even if you are really to blame, taking responsibility is not the same as torturing yourself with guilt. Understand guilt and you will open the way to getting rid of it.


Some religions seem largely based on guilt and to teach that there is something basically evil about humanity and the world itself. But this earth and everything in it is the work of the Creator and it is made and held together by the power of Love. It is people who have distorted the Word of God to turn it into something judgmental.
If you realise you are suffering from this kind of conditioning then it may help to reflect on love. Forget all the dogma and the fear that’s been generated and stop imagining that some powerful deity is looking down on you and pointing the finger. Do you really belief that an all-wise, all-powerful being would condemn your actions? Wouldn’t they be more likely to send you love, guidance and understanding, such as a parent would with a small child?
Instead, feel the warmth and love that fills this world, in every shaft of sunlight and every drop of rain. Even in parts of the world where people are being horrendously cruel to one another, others are performing acts of heroism, generosity and compassion, inspired by love.


When someone else is hurting it’s natural to care about them, but hurting yourself with nagging guilt will help no-one. Maybe when someone feels sad, disappointed or angry you ‘pick up’ on their feelings. This can hang round you like a cloud, bringing you down and making you feel heavy. Even when you analyse the situation and it’s clearly not your fault, you may still feel that you have to fix it. When you’ve had to do something unpleasant like bring bad news, say ‘No’ to a request or – worst of all – end a relationship, then you may feel very low indeed.
If this is the case then you need to reframe the way you’re thinking about the situation. Instead of letting all these feelings into you, to torment you, retreat. Visualise a sphere of light around you, protecting you from the feelings. Work on staying calm. If this is hard, imagine that you are somewhere beautiful and tranquil, such as within a woodland or beside a lake, and that you are absorbing all the healing energies of the place.
It’s vital to realise that you matter too. How about sympathizing with you? Don’t your feelings matter too? Shouldn’t you also have a little TLC? Why should you be tormented with guilt? You feeling miserable will do no-one any good, least of all you – it will just add to the bad vibes on this earth. Let go of the feeling that you have to punish yourself because it won’t help.


Something constructive that you can do, whether or not you have had a part in causing whatever is making you guilty, is to send love and healing. Light a candle, stare at the flame and still your mind. Ask whatever God or Goddess you believe in, and/or ask your spirit guide to send you their grace and blessing.  
Imagine that there is a light growing in your chest – it can be of whatever colour seems right to you. Let this light fill you until it can’t get any brighter. Then send it out in a radiant beam towards the person who is unhappy or suffering and is causing you guilt. Imagine this person smiling and happy, in a pleasant situation, and ask that they may be healed.
When you have done this for as long as you feel comfortable, re-absorb your light, affirm that you are safe and protected and give thanks. Ask for a blessing and take a few deep breaths as you ground yourself. Affirm that you, also, are safe, happy and well. Whenever you feel burdened by guilt, set time aside for this little healing ritual. It’s a positive action rather than the negative state of guilt and will benefit you and the other person greatly.



In this article we’ve examined the roots of guilt, religious belief, empathy and healing. If you suffer from guilt this will help you cope. If things feel too dark and unmanageable, however, you may want to talk to someone to help you get it all into perspective. You may also need to ‘confess’ to someone, if you really believe you’ve done something wrong, and speaking to a kind human being can make the world of difference. That’s where our compassionate Readers can truly help you. If there’s something burdening you, why struggle on? Put in a call today and begin to feel lighter.


PUBLISHED: 14 June 2017

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