The bonds we make with others are part of our karma. Some people believe that if you have a difficult relationship you have lots of bad karma to pay off. But karma does not mean judgement, and it doesn’t have to bring unhappiness.
Understand how to handle karma, so you learn and grow.
- The power of karmic links
- Deal with harmful situations
- Give what you want to receive
- Be conscious of the lessons you’re learning
WHAT IS KARMA?
‘Karma’ is often misunderstood as ‘As you sow, so shall you reap’, carrying with it an aura of punishment. However, that is not the true meaning of karma. Karma means ‘action’. All actions have an effect, so karma is, in a sense, cause and effect, or balance. What you’ve done in the past creates certain conditions within you that sooner or later need to be evened out. It’s about your growth – but it doesn’t have to be very painful.
KARMIC LINKS ARE POWERFUL
Often we form relationships with the same people over and over again through successive incarnations. Souls may progress, working their way towards the Source, in company with other souls. What you do certainly comes back to you, but not in a bad way. Karma gives you chances to get things right – until you do!
If you are strongly drawn towards someone, even though the relationship is not practical, or causes disruption, then karma is probably being played out. Sometimes it may seem as if a relationship has to end because you’re always rowing, yet somehow you’re always drawn back together. Then you have important issues to work through and maybe lessons to teach each other – deep inside you both know this and that’s what keeps you tied.
DEALING WITH WHAT CAN HARM YOU
If your relationship is abusive and/or truly damaging to you, karma certainly does not mean you have to stay in it in order to ‘learn lessons’! Your karma may in fact be to learn how to leave. Maybe you need to find the strength and courage of your own convictions. Maybe you need to learn to love yourself.
Karmic issues are not necessarily simple and there may be more than one way to deal with a situation. However you approach karma it is very important to remember to love and respect yourself – being a doormat or punch-bag will not give you good karma!
When you forgive others (and also yourself) you release a weight and even sever a connection that’s draining you. Forgiveness means letting go of negative reactions and trying to send love. It does not mean that you condone something damaging or let it continue.
When your lover does something that upsets you, distance yourself from the situation while you calm down. Ask yourself, does this person truly love me, and I them? If the answer is ‘Yes’ then forgiving them is a great gift to both of you.
WORK AT HEALTHY DETACHMENT
We can all become very dependent on those close to us. Maybe you or your lover are a tad too ‘attached’ to each other? Love and closeness are wonderful, but each of you needs to be ‘okay’ alone, to reach balance.
Spend some time out of the relationship so you keep a sense of your own individuality. This will help you to deal with problems if they arise because it won’t feel as if your whole being is caught up in them. It will be easier to see the relationship as a learning experience and to be tolerant and adaptable.
GIVE WHAT YOU WANT TO RECEIVE
Most of us have a good idea about what we want from a relationship and it’s easy to feel resentful if you don’t get it. But one thing karma teaches everyone is that you have control only over yourself, and you have the power to change yourself – not others.
By all means make it clear to your lover what you would like, but if you don’t always get it, don’t rant and rave. Decide instead that you will give what you want to get. Want more tolerance, more affection, more help? – give it! Give it without expecting that it will be repaid – simply give out of the generosity of your heart.
If you do this right you will feel enriched and joyful. This isn’t about putting up with bad treatment – it’s about enjoying your power to please. You will experience yourself as the one doing good and seeing the best in yourself.
BE CONSCIOUS OF THE LESSONS
If you go blindly through life some things will delight you and others will devastate you – especially in that most vulnerable personal area of relationships. But if you learn to take a step back and see what’s happening to you as being about things to learn and choices to make, life becomes easier.
Empower yourself by looking at your relationship that way. Ask yourself ‘What is this teaching me?’, ‘What quality am I supposed to be developing now/’ That way you give yourself a chance to progress, karmically. That – and Love itself – is what relationships are about.
HOW WE CAN HELP
We have looked at what karma is, how karmic links can be powerful, the importance of dealing with what can harm you, forgiving, detaching, giving what you would like to get and being conscious of the lessons you’re learning. Having a better idea about karma in your relationship can be empowering. However, if you’re struggling with issues that are hard to understand and cope with, give yourself the benefit of some sound advice. Your ‘karma’ in the situation may be to direct you towards greater wisdom. Our Readers are always available with help and insight, so call without delay and understand your karma that little bit better.
PUBLISHED: 19 November 2018