Life can be cruel and people can behave in ways that are very uncaring. How can you cope when what mattered most to you is smashed to smithereens?
Much of what we value in life depends on other people. That’s fine when love, warmth and consideration rule the day. But people are people. We all have secrets, hidden agendas and concealed traits. However well you think you know someone – and sometimes however well-meaning they are – things can go wrong. Promises can be broken in love, money, work and family matters. Usually it’s the loss of trust that hurts most of all.
If the promise you relied on was a big one, for a while it may feel as if your whole world has caved in. Remember the following:
- Look after yourself as if you are ill, because emotional trauma can hurt just like physical attack
- Get help. This means talking to friends, but also having some therapy, such as aromatherapy, massage, acupuncture, hypnotherapy or counselling. Our empathic readers here at TheCircle are always on hand with helpful advice
- Try not to obsess about why this happened, why this person behaved the way they did etc. Of course, it is natural to want answers, but there may not be any that are satisfactory.
- At the moment you may feel very ‘stuck’ in a place of pain and loss. However, that is not by any means the whole picture. This is all part of a larger pattern. You cannot know all the factors involved and maybe, just maybe, this can turn out for the best
- Karma is probably involved in what has happened, but do not assume that you have ‘bad karma’ and are being punished, for karma is about balance, learning and progression
- Do not blame yourself. Even if, like everyone, you have made mistakes, you don’t deserve to be punished, and you aren’t being penalised by some judgmental being who wants you to suffer. This just is what it is, and it’s a learning curve
- Nurture a space of peace and stillness within. This, along with truly loving yourself, will act as a buffer against future hurts. If this experience does nothing else, let it increase your spirituality and inner resources. If this feels difficult, look out for mindfulness classes and similar to attend
- Work towards forgiveness of the person who has let you down. Forgiveness is a wonderful release, and it is a gift for you more than anyone else. Once you can forgive and move on you will feel a wonderful sense of release
You had a wonderful dream of how your future would be, and now it’s all been destroyed. This may be because of what someone did, something that happened or just a realisation about cold, hard facts. Everything looks bleak, but the keyword here is ‘looks’. You can and will get through this.
- Give yourself time. You’re bound to be disappointed for a while, and if this was an important ‘dream’ you may feel your world has ended, but it hasn’t!
- Read inspiring stories, for instance about athletes who became disabled, but still triumphed, people who overcame the odds, people who found happiness and fulfillment despite huge difficulties etc. If they can do it, so can you
- Seek encouragement from positive friends who believe in you, and believe things will get better
- Avoid anyone or anything negative – you don’t need that now
- Especially avoid negative self-talk, such as ‘I’m a failure’, ‘Things always go wrong for me’ etc. If you catch yourself doing this, take a few deep breaths, smile gently to yourself and say ‘May I be well, all is well, all shall be well’
- Dwell on the successes that you have had, however small they may seem. You could list them and read through them before going to sleep
- Be physically active – this will keep your spirits up
- Be assured this experience will strengthen you. Cope with this setback and you will develop a powerful life tool. Make a commitment never to let fear of failure hold you back
- Start building small dreams, that come true. These may be an hour or two spent pleasantly with friends or some everyday challenge like an extra-long walk. Visualise a few things that actually materialise, and are enjoyable
- Gradually build up, towards bigger goals, but do this slowly
- Let fresh dreams reveal themselves – if you work towards being serene, open and positive, you will soon be inspired again
YOU CAN MOVE ONWARDS
In this article we have looked at various ways to cope with broken promises and shattered dreams. Try to follow as many of the points as you can, and be kind to yourself. Rest assured, the hurt and disappointment will not go on forever.
HOW WE CAN HELP
If someone has broken a promise which you’re finding hard to accept, or maybe you feel you feel you’ve let yourself down as your dreams haven’t materialised. Don’t be unforgiving, contact one of our specialilst Readers at TheCircle, who will be able to help you. Click here to book a reading https://www.thecircle.com/uk/find-reader/
PUBLISHED: 29 April 2016