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Toxic Relationship Habits To Avoid

 

Most of us long for a good relationship, with love, honesty, support and empathy as the standard. However, it’s so easy to go about this in the wrong way, ending up with resentment, repression and misunderstanding instead. Can you relate to any of the following? Look out for toxic patterns that may be undermining your relationship and purge them, so you get the closeness you crave.

 


YOU SET ASIDE YOUR PERSONAL NEEDS AND AMBITIONS IN FAVOUR OF YOUR PARTNER’S

 
You may think that self-sacrifice is the way to true love – wrong!  Being considerate and unselfish isn’t the same as giving yourself away. That just turns you into a martyr, and, deep down, it could be a manipulative ploy to make yourself indispensible. Eventually it could make you a boring drag, binding the other person to you by guilt, which is horrible. Each of us has certain ambitions in life that are part of our growth, and your partnership has to support these, not require them to be abandoned, if it is to be healthy. In the long run you have much more to give if you are a complete person in your own right
 

DROPPING HINTS RATHER THAN SAYING WHAT YOU WANT

People don’t always ‘get’ hints, and that can lead to resentment. If you expect your partner to be so tuned in to you that he or she picks up on those little comments, you could be asking too much and setting yourself up for disappointment. Don’t make assumptions – spell out your needs and preferences
 

KEEPING THE SCORE

Your friend or lover might have let you down several times, while you’ve only messed up once. But not only is it better not to point that out – it’s best to forget about it. Realise that what you are counting isn’t the sum total of the relationship. There will be things you’re missing, and relationships aren’t about scores. They are about feelings, fun, shared times, and as long as you’re basically emotionally ‘okay’ with the set up, move on and enjoy
 

BOTTLING UP YOUR FEELINGS

If you’re really hurt, or confused, or need some answers, this needs talking through. If you avoid this because you fear conflict or don’t want to upset anyone then you’re storing up trouble for the future. How can you ever be happy with all that locked up inside you?  Some things do need spelling out, so if you want the partnership to be built on secure foundations, speak up. Clarify the point you want to make in your head and say it calmly and clearly, avoiding accusations and aggression
 

GIVING IN WHEN YOU DON’T MEAN IT

Saying ‘sorry’ when you’re anything but, just for a quiet life, or ending arguments with an ‘okay, you’re right’ when you’re simmering with resentment is a recipe for long-term unhappiness. Discussions aren’t about winning – they’re about reaching understanding, so try to make sure that you are being adult when you interact 
 
Sometimes however hard you try, keeping positive within your partnership seems very difficult. That’s when you owe it to yourself to get support. Dating Advice and Relationship Advice are available with a few clicks, when you contact us at TheCircle. Find clarity with your Love issues, get your Relationship Horoscope or benefit from Psychic Reading insight. There’s no need to cope with your worries alone – put in a call today.
 
 
PUBLISHED: 20 JULY 2015

 

 
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