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How to Handle a Break Up During Christmas

 

It shouldn’t happen but all too often it does.  Just when happy families are celebrating and lovers getting all snugly, you find yourself alone.  It seems very cruel and hard to accept.  Can you possibly get through Christmas? And will you ever get over this experience?  Yes, of course you will.

 


WHY IT HAPPENS AT THIS TIME OF YEAR

 

At Christmas all emotions are magnified.  Everywhere you are bombarded with images of ideal life, perfect happiness and dreams coming true.  This can make the elements that are not ideal stand out very starkly.  It’s not unusual for the heightened atmosphere to make something snap, and for one or both parties to say ‘Enough!’  Also, the stresses and strains of the season can push you over the edge – too much time together with all the difficult issues between you, money being stretched and worries about bills, arguments about arrangements with family and friends….  One thing to much, and someone says something that means there’s no going back.

 

 

IF YOU’RE THE DUMPER

 

How do you feel?  Drained?  Guilty?  Distraught?  Relieved? Don’t think about how you should feel.  Christmas can distort emotions, so focus on what this will mean for your life, long-term.  Is it something you’ve been wanting to do?  Then you owed it to yourself to make the break – a great present for you, in fact.  There is no mileage on dwelling on any hurt you may have caused.  You can’t help it if you didn’t feel a certain way, or want certain things.  Guilt is certainly a poisonous cement for any relationship.  Maybe you’ve been living a lie, so let in the peace that comes with truth.  Maybe you’ve been suffering and that can now be soothed.  There will be aspects to the relationship that aren’t as yet clear, so give yourself time and space to rest, for the message is of healing and tranquillity. 

 

 

IF YOU’RE THE DUMPEE

 

Probably you’re outraged that anyone could do this to you now, of all times.  That’s understandable, but perhaps you can also understand why things came to a head.  If there seems no good reason then possibly you have been with someone who was using you, or who is unkind, so square up and resolve that’s not going to happen again.  Obviously you will turn to friends and family for support and there’s no way you should bottle up your emotions, but resolve to have times when you put a brave face on it because that will help you also.  The person who left you wasn’t the person you believe them to be, so however hard this is, try not to tell yourself that the love of your life has walked.  When we’re in love we project wonderful qualities on this person and they seem magical – but the ‘magic’ comes from your belief.  This may be almost impossible to accept, especially when you’re young, but it is true.  It is also true that there will be someone else in your life sooner or later, so mourn but don’t wallow.    

 

TIPS THAT CAN HELP

 

  • Don’t worry about letting other people down.  Some arrangements may need to be changed and there may even be upheaval, if families are involved but anyone who truly cares about you will understand, adapt and even be pleased.
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  • People may not react in the way you expect.  You may fear casting a cloud over Christmas, but those who care for you may have been watching you struggle and will be glad that you can now be happier.
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  • Make changes at the drop of a hat.  Traditions are lovely but now may be the time to break them.  If your budget will allow, hop on a plane to somewhere amazing.  Be inventive about small shifts you can make that will leave behind associations with the past.
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  • Think of this as the start of something better.  Even if you didn’t choose the split, something has not been right.  Next year will be the year you build on better foundations, so make plans.
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  • You will need time alone so give yourself some space to cry and/or reflect.  The message of Christmas is about redemption.  You may never have needed this more, so open out to spirit if you can, and believe that the bells are ringing for your future.
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  • If you’ve been given a present you don’t want to keep, or have bought something that you can’t now hand over, take pleasure in passing this on to a charity.  The face of someone somewhere will light up when they see it.



Sometimes with the best will in the world, you can find yourself caving in and giving way to despair.  But help is always so close at hand.  Dating advice and relationship advice are available with a few clicks, when you contact us at The Circle.  Find support with your love issues, get your relationship horoscope or benefit from psychic insight.  There’s no need to cope with your anxieties alone – put in a call today.
 

PUBLISHED: 15 December 2014

 
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