HELP – I’VE TOTALLY LOST MY NERVE.
It can happen to any of us. You may be taking life in your stride, sure of what you can cope with, all your problems in perspective. Then fear creeps up on you, and you start to doubt your capabilities. Or the change could come quickly – all of a sudden you find you just can’t cope. You may feel shaky, sweaty and very anxious, in the shadow of negative images about yourself and your abilities. It may be very hard to talk about this to your friends and colleagues – you think no-one will understand and you’re ashamed. The shame makes you feel even worse about yourself, creating a downward spiral. In the worst case scenario, you begin not to be able to do certain things that used to come easily, such as going shopping – or it may be that you’ve always been a tad nervous and now you’re in the grip of terror. You may also have panic attacks, and if your life seems out of control, all those fears become worse. Of course you are not alone. More people than you would ever guess have been through episodes like this, and you will find a way to put this behind you.
YOU’RE A SURVIVOR!
All these anxieties are actually perfectly natural. Of course this does not mean that any of the things you fear will happen. What it means is that your nervous system is responding just the way it did in the Stone Age. We haven’t changed that much physically since prehistoric times, but our lives and the environment we inhabit have altered beyond belief. You are hard-wired to be afraid. Think about it. Who would have survived the woolly mammoth attack or stalking by the sabre-toothed tiger? It wouldn’t have been the cheerful optimistic hunter who happily assumed he’d be okay and didn’t sharpen his axe. It would have been the fearful one, who never left the cave without making sure his weapons were tip-top. These days we do not have to face the same threats, but your subconscious mind doesn’t see it that way, flooding your body with adrenalin, just in case. So take heart from the fact that your fears aren’t a sign of weakness – they are a powerful survival mechanism that just needs recalibrating.
WHAT SET YOU OFF?
Ask yourself what sent you into this phase. It will almost definitely have been something – and that ‘something’ could be so trivial that you have discounted it. For instance, you may have a new boss who reminds you of an abusive parent, you may have had a run of bad luck, or possibly you’re the parent of a new baby and sharply aware of the dangers in the world. Usually the triggering event will have echoed some experience from childhood, when you were vulnerable, and your inner child has now gone into a frightened state. Spotting your ‘trigger’ can help you make sense of what’s going on and be more in control.
FEEL THE FEAR AND CARRY ON
It isn’t always possible to force yourself onwards, but where possible, do have a go. Feeling fear won’t kill you. Make yourself do small tasks – for instance if you’ve become frightened of shops, visit the small corner store, if you’re terrified of public speaking say one sentence, etc.
WHAT’S THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN?
Some people have a very specific fear, such as throwing up in public, passing out or simply looking a fool. But so what? If that should happen, who would remember it in a couple of weeks? No-one but you, so face up to the possibility (although it’s very unlikely) and carry on.
By exposing yourself to very limited versions of what you fear, you can become stronger. For instance, if you’re terrified of spiders, start by getting close to tiny ones. Gradually approach larger and larger spiders. If you feel ‘stuck’ stay with it, continuing to expose yourself to contact at the level that’s comfortable, until you can move on.
Asking others for help is the usual advice for any problem such as this, and it’s the best. The support of someone who understands you and can, as it were ‘hold your hand’ is invaluable. Find someone who can talk you through the most difficult bits and celebrate with you when your confidence grows.
THERE IS HELP OUT THERE
. At The Circle you can always contact a psychic or medium who can help you. Benefit from a psychic reading, check your horoscope, get some advice, insight and support. A clairvoyant reading is one fabulous way to start tackling fears, so make contact with us without delay
PUBLISHED: 26 January 2015