Don’t make just any old resolution. Get rid of the habits that are really spoiling your life.
1) STOP PUTTING YOURSELF DOWN.
How many times during the day do you say to yourself ‘You’re stupid/wrong/lazy etc?’ In all probability you regularly take bad-mouthing from yourself that you’d never put up with from someone else. Just because it comes from you, however, doesn’t mean it doesn’t have a similar destructive effect. Next time those insults rise up in your mind, counter them with ‘Actually I’m wise/in the right/hard-working’ and remind yourself of all the times you’ve been just that.
2) DON’T DWELL ON NEGATIVE MEMORIES.
It is perfectly natural to go over and over bad memories – in fact it’s a survival mechanism. We’re hard-wired to focus on what went wrong so we don’t repeat it. That’s a life-saver when it comes to avoiding the sabre-toothed tiger but can be very counter-productive in modern life. When the nasty memories repeat, ask yourself what you have to learn from them, write that down and then spend a minute re-living something good.
3) STOP WASTING TIME.
We all moan we don’t have enough of it, but we often squander it. Time isn’t wasted if you’re enjoying yourself, but when you catch yourself goggling some boring talk-show or trawling the Net for useless information, pull yourself up and do something better.
4) BE REALISTIC ABOUT YOUR DEPENDENCIES.
We’re all familiar with the dangers of alcohol, nicotine and drugs, but there are many other addictions that may be taken for granted but can still do great harm. Habits and substances can stimulate parts of your brain, giving you a high, or a ‘can’t-do-without’ sensation. These can include shopping, computers, certain foods – the list is endless. Be honest with yourself about your compulsions and if they are working against you then you can start to tackle them.
5) STOP SAYING ‘YES’ WHEN YOU MEAN ‘NO’.
How many times do you put yourself in a difficult or unpleasant situation because you’ve agreed to do what you don’t want to? This could be out of politeness, consideration for others or lack of confidence. Not so bad when this spoils an evening, but lives have been wrecked by giving in. It isn’t selfish to follow your own needs and ambitions – in fact it puts you in a stronger position to help and support others, when the time is right. So listen to that inner voice, and follow your own dreams – contact a supportive reader to make sure you’re on track.
PUBLISHED: 07 January 2014